Solstice
by pseudowolf
Summary: Not all the Cullens are happy about Edward and Bella's pending nuptials. When one decides to leave, the reprecussions are far-reaching for more then just the Cullen family.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1 - Underestimated

I wrapped my arms and legs tightly around Edward as he ran like a blur through the trees. I was getting more comfortable with this mode of travel and was enjoying the rush of speed as he jumped over dead fall and skirted under overhanging branches. All too soon we emerged from the forest and he set me down gently by his car.

I could feel the reality of what had just occurred in the meadow on the third finger of my left hand and I chewed on my lower lip trying to form a plan in my head.

Edward turned to me and lifted up my chin so he could see my face. "What are you thinking about?" he asked.

I shrugged my shoulders lightly. "I'm trying to come up with something to tell Charlie." I hesitated and took a quick breath. "Remember when I told you that I wasn't _that_ girl? Part of it was because I know what Charlie will assume; most people will think the same thing", I said.

A look of confusion clouded Edward's golden amber eyes. "Bella, you lost me. The only reason two people get married is because they love each other – what else is there to think?"

I could feel that familiar heat starting to flood up my throat and into my cheeks as I tried to explain. "You know…….everyone will think that I'm…….that we're……" My face was crimson now. "Oh, come on Edward!" I looked at him with exasperation, "Charlie is going to think I'm pregnant!"

"Oh!" Edward was genuinely surprised. "I hadn't thought of that. It's not something that I ever really considered since it could never happen." He looked at me clearly finding this amusing, and took my face in his hands. "We'll figure something out. Everything will be fine."

He slowly bent down to kiss me and brushed his cool, stony lips against mine. My tongue gently traced the contours of his lower lip as my arms reached up to encircled his neck and my fingers weaved in his bronze hair.

The lightly falling rain added to the sensation as my lips and tongue danced with his and a soft moan escaped my throat. My breathing became ragged as I pressed my body into his. His hands trailed up and down my back, his cool fingers making my skin tingle through my thin t-shirt.

This is the point when Edward usually started to gently pull away fearing a loss of control, but as I feathered kisses down his neck and throat, he let out a low groan. His hand came to the back of my neck and his fingers entwined in my hair. "Bella", he sighed, and covered my mouth with his.

I ran my hands down his chest and started fumbling with the buttons on his shirt when his resolve returned and he took my wrists in his hands. He kissed me once more softly before he stepped back. "I'm sorry," he sighed. "You know I don't want to stop."

I bridged the distance between us and looked up into his beautiful face. My wrists still bound, I lifted one hand and cupped his cheek. "Then don't," I teased as I pulled his face toward mine.

"Bella, you know why I….." The phone was to his ear before it even registered in my brain that it had been ringing. "Saved by the bell," he smiled and winked at me.

I scowled and stuck my tongue out at him teasingly as I walked around to the passenger side of the car. As I opened the door about to get in, I caught my name in Edward's conversation.

"I don't know if Bella is going to like that, Alice." I listened more intently looking at Edward quizzically.

He held up a finger to me and shook his head. "Alice, you promised you wouldn't go overboard. It's complicated enough as it is." They must be talking about the wedding.

Whatever Alice was saying, it was clearly not to Edward's liking and he struggled to conceal it in his voice. "No, Alice! We can talk about this _later. _We'll be home after we tell Charlie about the wedding and you can ask her yourself. _Bye!_" Edward hung up the phone and placed it in his pocket.

"What hugely embarrassing thing does Alice want to do for the wedding?" I asked meekly. Maybe I shouldn't have given her full reign over the planning. The last thing I wanted was a huge, black-tie affair with hundreds of guests. I hated being the centre of attention but Alice, being Alice, thought it was good for me and pushed me into the spotlight whenever she could. I mentally cringed as I remembered prom in junior year, and my 18th birthday……

Edward looked at me sheepishly. "I'm sorry, Bella. She means well," he sighed.

The rain started to come in earnest. I took a deep breath to calm the butterflies in my stomach and gave him a small smile. "I know, but I can't think about that right now because we still haven't figured out what to tell Charlie. May as well get it over with." I stepped into the car and buckled my seat belt. "Carlisle is working at the hospital tonight, right?"

Sliding into the driver's seat beside me, Edward eyed me curiously and frowned. "He's on late tonight I think, why?" He turned the key, and the engine roared to life.

I glanced at him wearily than stared down at my hands. "Because I want the best doctor in town taking care of Charlie after the heart attack we're about to give him," I replied glumly.

Edward took my hand and brought it to his lips. He opened my palm and kissed it, then proceeded to kiss each of my fingers. He laced his fingers in mine and squeezed my hand in reassurance. "It will be fine, Bella. Charlie is a good man, he will understand. He wants you to be happy."

"I hope so," I muttered.

"I know so." Edward squeezed my hand again as we started toward Forks.

My breath caught as we turned the corner onto my street and I saw the cruiser in the driveway. I had half-hoped he had decided to go fishing with Harry or watch the game at Billy's place. _It's now or never_, I thought to myself. Edward and I weren't going to have a second chance to do this right. And though Charlie wouldn't understand it, I was doing this for him.

Even though I loved Edward with every piece of me, I'd never been keen on marriage. He was forever 17, I was only 18 and it felt…wrong, somehow. Well, maybe not wrong, but at least weird, very weird. I never thought I'd be the girl who got married right out of high school. I knew that Edward thought it was a great idea and had used it as a bargaining chip in our negotiations that would turn me into vampire. I had always wanted Edward to be the one who turned me. Not that it mattered really. It would still be days of agony going though the change, followed by a year, at least, of laughable vampire impetuousness, immaturity and unquenchable thirst. But knowing that it would be Edward that changed me, that it was his venom in my body made it kind of erotic. So in exchange for his bite, I agreed to be his wife.

We could have just as easily have been married after he turned me - Rosalie and Emmett had been married numerous times already. But Edward wanted me to have as many human experiences as I could, and though I didn't care, it seemed a fitting way to say good bye to my friends and family. Since I wouldn't be able to see them after I was turned, our wedding was to be a goodbye party of sorts. It would leave them with wonderful memories of me and they would see how deliriously happy Edward made me. They were the sacrifice I would have to make to be with him forever, and though they would never know, it was important to me that they see why I would be willing to pay such a hefty price.

Edward parked his shiny silver Volvo behind my beat up, old, red '57 Chevy truck and held my hand as we walked to the front door. "Just breathe", Edward whispered in my ear as I turned the knob and pushed the door open.

"Bella?" Charlie called from the kitchen. I could smell the catastrophe he was attempting to cook for supper.

"Yeah, it's me dad….and Edward." I added. "Why didn't you just wait for me? You know you're a horrible cook!" Edward followed me into the kitchen where I saw Charlie bent over the counter, trying to pry something charbroiled off a baking pan.

"Here, Charlie. Let me try," Edward offered politely. Charlie glared at him and scraped the pan harder. He had still not completely forgiven Edward for leaving me resulting in the "misunderstanding" last spring when I took off for three days leaving only a vague note. Charlie didn't know that I went to Italy to save Edward from the Volturi. He thought I was in L.A. Edward understood my father's anger and did not take it personally. He knew Charlie was only looking out for me and through Charlie's mind, Edward knew the pain we both went through after he left; my pain, the gaping hole in my soul at losing Edward, and Charlie's pain from watching me.

Trying to hide his distaste for Edward, he turned to me. "Sorry, Bells. I just couldn't wait any longer. I wasn't sure when you were going to be back so I thought I would try a new recipe Sue gave me. Well, the recipe was for you, actually……"

I laughed. "Well, maybe next time I'm not home, just stick to ordering pizza, ok?" I filled the sink with hot, soapy water and threw all of the dishes in. Charlie finally got the charbroiled thing off the pan and I immersed that too. "May as well let them soak for awhile. So did you manage to salvage anything to eat?" I asked him.

"No, I over-cooked the vegetables too. I threw them out already," Charlie smiled like a guilty child.

Edward cleared his throat. "So, why don't I call for that pizza and you two go relax on the couch." He turned his amber eyes on me. "There's something we should discuss tonight, Charlie."

Glaring at Edward, I led Charlie to the living room where he glanced uneasily back and forth between me on the couch and the open kitchen door. We could hear Edward placing the order.

The tension rolled off Charlie in waves as he sat down beside me. Edward returned, said the pizza would take about 30 minutes and perched on the arm of the too-small couch beside me. He must've heard my heart racing because he put his cool hand on the nape of my neck to steady me. "Remember, just breathe", he whispered.

Charlie looked at us wearily. "What is it that you want to talk about?" he asked stiffly.

I didn't know where to begin. I sucked in a deep breath and remembered why I was doing this. This was something I was doing _for_ Charlie, not _to_ him! But I was so nervous I couldn't even look at him. My pale hands trembled in my lap hiding the ring on my finger. He reached out to calm them then must have thought better of it and pulled away.

"What is it Bella? What has you so upset?" Charlie asked.

I was at a loss. I turned imploringly to Edward and lost myself for a moment in his liquid gold eyes. His eyes held mine and he smiled at me encouragingly. His thumb stroked up and down on my neck as he cleared his throat and turned to Charlie. In his velvet voice, he said simply, "Charlie, I proposed to Bella today and she said yes. We are asking for your blessing."

After a minute, Charlie swallowed loudly and stared at me blankly. His eyed turned to the floor and it seemed his face turned every shade of red and purple. As he struggled to compose himself, Edward stiffened behind me. His body turned in a subtle defensive pose and I knew he must be reading Charlie's thoughts. Without thinking I stood up and placed myself squarely between my father and Edward and opened my mouth to speak. But before anything could come out, Charlie was on his feet too, shooting deadly glares at Edward over my shoulder. Edward stood up readying himself.

Calmly and slowly in a low voice, barely more than a whisper, Charlie said, "You have five seconds to get out of my house, Edward. Not a second more."

"Dad, wait -," I started.

"Bella," his voice was getting louder and more forceful. "Stay out of this."

"I can't dad," my voice was pleading, willing him to understand. "I'm already in it. I love Edward and nothing you say or do will change that. This isn't the end of the world, I'm just getting married," I tried to reason.

Charlie was yelling now, "Just getting married? Not the end of the world? How could you be so careless, Bella? This will ruin your life! You were supposed to go to college in the fall! How are you going to…….what are you going to…….I don't even know what to say to you anymore, Bella! You dated this guy for a couple of months then ran off to Phoenix and almost got yourself killed falling down the stairs to see him."

"Careless?" Edward murmured, confused.

"Dad, that -," I tried to explain. Charlie cut me off.

"Then he turned around and left you after ripping your heart out. You were in such poor shape, Bella," his voice breaking. "Your mother and I were talking about a sanitarium for God's sake! He destroyed you!"

I glanced at Edward silently listening to my father's tirade, anguish flashing in his eyes as he saw those pictures in my father's mind. The blood started rushing to my face as anger filled me.

"Dad, that's enough," I forced through clenched teeth.

"Then you took off for 3 days to L.A. doing God knows what, trying to help him after what he did to you? And now this? I like to think that I've been a very patient man, Bella, but this is too much. You're such a smart girl; I just don't understand how you could have been so careless. You told me you and he weren't….." He threw is hands in the air, defeated, and slumped down to the couch.

It was what I had feared; Charlie assumed I was pregnant. After all, what fools would have followed in his and my mother's footsteps without reason? Charlie's thoughts must have cleared enough for Edward to finally understand what Charlie was thinking. He relaxed and let out a low chuckle.

Charlie was on his feet again, hands curled into fists at his sides. "I thought I told you to get out," he spat viciously.

"Look, Charlie – ," Edward started to say.

I shot him a quick warning glance and shook my head lightly. I turned to face Charlie's fiery stare and said, "Dad, I'm not pregnant. Edward and I haven't even…….He wasn't raised that way." I sighed as the anger drained from my voice. This wasn't going well; I had to make him understand before he tried to physically force Edward to leave. I wasn't a very good liar, and I had to come up with something fast. My heart raced as a suitable explanation started to form in my head. "We just love each other and want to be together, is that so bad? And I _am_ going to college, Dad. Dartmouth actually." I smiled at the silent "O" he was making with his mouth. "I got in. Full scholarship and everything." I glanced back at Edward and he grinned. I vowed to myself that I would pay him back, somehow and I focused on Charlie again. "Edward and I are going there together. In fact, that's part of the reason we want to get married. If we're married we get better housing on campus. We've thought this through carefully; it just makes sense for us," I lied. My eyes were pleading. "We are going to do this with or without you, but I…" I smiled at him sheepishly, "I was hoping my dad would walk me down the aisle and give me away."

Edward stepped forward and took my hand. "Charlie, I –." Charlie raised a single finger sharply, not looking at Edward. He was still struggling to take it all in.

After what felt like several minutes, he let out a mighty sigh and sat back down on the couch putting his head in his hands. I looked at Edward anxiously and he squeezed my hand and nodded.

"Dad, are you alright?" I asked, sitting down beside him and putting an arm around his shoulders.

"Yeah, I'll be fine." The anger was fading, being replaced by acceptance. "I guess I could see this coming really. You love too fiercely, Bella. And you're too stubborn. Once you get something in your head, there's no changing it." I breathed a sigh of relief. He dropped his hands and turned to me. "But that doesn't mean I have to be happy about it", he glanced at Edward to emphasize his point.

I looked at the floor. "I know, dad," I breathed, "…….thank you."

He took a deep breath and rose wearily from the couch and turned to Edward. "Edward, I respect Bella's choices, I just wish that you could wait for a little while, maybe a year or two….?"

Edward smiled and replied, "Charlie, there is nothing I would like more," I knew he wasn't talking about the wedding. Edward wished I would stop insisting on being turned so soon. "But Bella won't let me pay for a house off campus so this is the only way. I hope you can understand." He paused and smiled down at me with those dazzling amber eyes. "We really are happy, Charlie. And I will to spend the rest of my life trying to be good enough for her."

Charlie looked at Edward, searching for any hint of doubt or deception. "Do you promise that you won't ever leave her again? I don't know if Bella could live through that a second time, and I can't watch her try."

Pain flickered across Edward's face as he continued to look at me. He clenched his jaw to try to control his voice but it still wavered. "It wasn't a very good time for me either Charlie, and I'm not trying to make excuses, but I couldn't see any other way." Edward took a breath and looked at Charlie. "Yes, I promise I will never, ever leave her again. I will do everything I can to keep her safe." He added quietly, "I would die for her, Charlie."

My father hesitated. No one moved, I barely breathed.

"Alright, Edward," he sighed. "I believe you. I will offer you both my blessing, but…..it still doesn't mean I'm happy about it."

Edward and I both grinned and I stood up to throw my arms around my father. "Yeah, yeah," he said as he hurriedly patted me on the back. I knew how uncomfortable he was with mushy emotions so I stepped away. He stretched out his hand toward Edward and quietly said, "Please take care of her." Edward's breath caught as he took Charlie's hand and shook it. "Forever, I promise you I will," Edward replied.

A smug smile started to spread across Charlie's face as a new thought dawned on him. "Uh, oh," Edward said under his breath and I looked at him quizzically.

Charlie sat on the couch and picked up the remote control. As he turned on his nightly game he laughed and said, "I wonder what Renee is going about think of this…."

Edward smiled and pulled me loosely into his arms and chuckled. "Oh crap," I groaned.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2 - Happiness is Not Universal

My conversation with Renee was…….interesting. After I assured her I wasn't pregnant, I stammered and stuttered my way through the same explanation I had given Charlie. Edward smiled and laughed the whole time able to hear both sides of the conversation, clearly amused at seeing me so flustered. I finally threw a pillow at him and pushed him out of my room so I could focus.

She was not happy about my decision. Less so even then Charlie, but she didn't yell or scream. She did come up with some strange suggestions about how to get around the campus housing problem without actually getting married. Leave it to Renee to come up with some hair-brained scheme. In the end, she said I was my father's daughter and she knew it was a waste of time to try to change my mind. What could she say? She had done the exact same thing when she was 18 years old.

Finally, she had to go. Phil, my step-father, was taking her on a road trip with the ball team he coached and they were already running late. I promised to fill her in on the wedding plans the next time we spoke and then we hung up. Edward was already opening my door by the time I had returned the phone to the cradle. In a flash his arms were around my waist, his cool forehead pressed against mine looking deep into my eyes.

As usual, I lost all train of thought or ability to reason as I met his deep, fiery gaze. My hands slowly ran up his chest completely of their own volition. I could hear our breathing getting rough and the sound of my rushing blood screamed in my ears. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I was amazed by my body's automatic reaction to this man.

He pulled back slightly and smiled my favorite crooked smile. "You're not mad at me are you?" he asked.

With a coy smile I replied, "Murderously furious."

"I'll watch my back then." He tapped me on the end of my nose with his finger.

"You really should," I teased. I playfully swatted his hand away and he caught it in his. I sighed as he brought my hand up to his lips and kissed it.

"What do you want to do now?" he asked.

I groaned as I remembered his earlier conversation with Alice. "I guess we should go and see what horribly embarrassing things Alice has conjured up for the wedding." I winced at the thought of what they might be.

"It's not that bad," Edward assured me. I heard a strange note in his tone and looked up at him. He quickly tried to conceal the amusement in his eyes and said, "Ok, it's not _horrible_……"

It was always better that I kept myself distracted whenever Edward drove, especially in the pouring rain. At some point I vaguely wondered if I would start to drive like him after I was turned. I pestered him as we drove at break-neck speed to his family's house nestled deep in the woods a few miles out of town. He would not relent, saying that Alice would be upset if he spoiled her surprise. Edward knew how much I hated surprises so I changed my tactics and was trying to get him to give me some hints. He turned off the highway and started whizzing around the hairpin turns of the long driveway.

Suddenly he stopped laughing at my attempts to get him to give up the goods and went rigidly still.

"What wrong, Edward?" I asked. "Edward?" But he was concentrating, listening very hard. What he heard must not have been good because I felt the car lurch forward as he pressed the engine's limits.

Within seconds, we came to a screeching halt outside the front door of the Cullen's grand house. I glanced at Edward uneasily and wondered why we didn't park in the garage. He leapt from the car and had my door open before I could even reach for the handle. As we turned to walk up the porch steps, Emmett appeared through the front door.

He held up his hands, palms toward Edward as he spoke. "Hold up, Edward, she just needs some time. Give her a few days; let the news sink in. You know how she is."

Edward stopped on the third step up the porch. I had no idea what was going on. I looked at Edward and took in the vehement anger spread across his face and saw the pain in his eyes. "She promised me she would try, Emmett. This isn't trying, this is outright betrayal!" Edward spat the last word.

"Edward, what's going on?" I asked.

He tried to keep his voice even. "It's fine, Bella. I just need to speak with Rosalie. Emmett, take Bella inside please. Alice has some plans to go over with her."

"It doesn't have to be this way, Edward. Just let it run its course. She'll come around…..eventually," Emmett sounded doubtful.

I was getting angry now. "Would someone please tell me what is going on?"

I looked passed Emmett as I heard Esme's voice; she was standing just inside the door. "Bella, dear, come in out of the rain and dry off. Alice has been waiting for you." She was holding a big, fluffy, white towel and looked at me expectantly. I could hear the strain in her sing-song voice and wished briefly that I could read minds like Edward.

I glanced at Edward and he nodded slightly then I walked slowly up the steps and into the house. I let Esme dry me off as best she could and start leading me upstairs to Alice's room. She noticed how I kept glancing back at the front door and she patted my back reassuringly. "Everything will be alright, Bella. Nothing to worry about," she chimed. But I could still hear the edge in her voice.

She led me up the grand staircase to the second level. "What's going on?" I asked tentatively.

I caught a look of uneasiness flicker across her porcelain face. "Rosalie is just having a bit of trouble, uh…….adjusting to the news about the wedding." She tried to brighten her voice, "But don't worry about a thing! Everything will be fine!"

We arrived at Alice's bedroom door and she opened it before I had time to knock. "It's about time you got here!" she said excitedly as she grabbed my hand and dragged me into the room. I looked back beseechingly at Esme but she just smiled warmly, gave a low laugh and closed the door.

Alice pushed me down to sit on the beige couch that occupied most of the East wall in her room and grinned at me. "I have so much to show you, I don't even know where to start!" she gushed. She started to dance around the room looking in the multitude of boxes strewn against the remaining walls.

"I hope there's still room in here for Jasper," I half-joked as I took in the even bigger pile of boxes through the open door of her massive closet.

"Oh, we aren't staying in here right now, Bella," she smiled brightly. "This room is completely dedicated to your wedding!" I groaned. "Now here, what do you think of these?" She handed me several swatches of blue fabric. "I know Edward's favorite color on you is blue, so I was think of including several shades," she continued.

"They're great…." I hesitated. "I like the periwinkle one." I had made it sound like a question.

Exasperated, Alice took the swatches back. "Honestly, Bella, where's your enthusiasm? I thought you'd gotten over all that anti-wedding stuff?" she teased.

I sighed heavily. "I'm sorry, Alice," I said dejectedly staring at the floor. "It's just that Rosalie is upset and Edward is angry because Rosalie's upset and it's all because of me." I clenched my hands into little fists. "Everything I do seems to hurt the people I love."

With sadness I thought of the last conversation I had with Jacob. I didn't know if I could ever forgive myself for hurting him so badly. I thought, too, of all of the pain that I had doled out to Charlie, Edward, Renee, even my friends, since I'd arrived in Forks. Not for the first time, I wondered what it was that Edward saw of any value in me.

Alice kneeled at my feet and looked up into my face anxiously. As if reading my thoughts, she said, "Edward loves you for everything you are. Period." She pursed her lips. "And not everything you do hurts people, Bella. Rosalie is just being a brat and she knows it," she added.

Alice suddenly blinked and a far-away look settled on her petite features. She must have been having a vision. I waited for it to pass trying, unsuccessfully, to pull some comfort from her words. She blinked again and gave me an uneasy glance as she gracefully rose to her feet. "Carlisle is on his way. Family meeting," she said and started to pack away some of the wedding paraphernalia she had brought out to show me.

"I should go then," I said. "I'll have Edward drive me home."

She pulled me up from the couch and wrapped a stony cool arm around my shoulders. "You are a part of this family now, Bella," she smiled and kissed me lightly on the cheek. "We all expect you to be there." She laced her arm in mine and started for the door.

As we descended the stairs to wait for Carlisle to get home from the hospital, I spotted Rosalie standing in the kitchen quietly talking to Emmett. She made a big show of sniffing the air while wrinkling her nose and fixed her gaze on me. I was stunned. I heard Emmett tell her to cut it out and in a huff, she left through the patio door. Emmett threw me an apologetic look as he followed her outside.

I was still trying to understand what was going on when I looked around and couldn't see Edward anywhere. I sucked in my lower lip and started to gnaw at it nervously as my imagination started wandering. I wasn't paying attention to Alice, she was chattering about wedding plans with Esme who had entered the room. I don't know how long we stood there, but then distantly, I heard someone saying my name. It brought me out of my reverie.

"Bella? Bella? Are you alright, dear?" Esme was concerned.

"Wh – where's Edward?" I stammered.

"He'll be back soon. He went for a run. Can I get you something to eat?"

"No, thank you, Esme. I'm not very hungry," I replied quietly.

"You mustn't worry, Bella," she placed her hands lightly on my shoulders. "He's fine." She smiled.

"That's not what I'm worried about," I muttered, knowing full well my vampire fiancé was capable of taking care of himself.

She gently rubbed her hands up and down my arms. "This is not your fault, Bella. You mustn't blame yourself."

I didn't have time to reply. Alice was skipping over to the front door and opened it to let Carlisle through. He nodded solemnly at Alice and Esme and gave me a half-hearted smile. "How are you, Bella?" he asked politely.

"I'm ok, Carlisle. Sorry for making you leave work early," I sighed.

He cupped his cool hand under my chin and tilted my face up so I was looking him in the eyes. "Family is the most important thing, Bella. Without family, we have nothing." His eyes were so kind they radiated warmth in spite of his icy body.

With an almost imperceptible noise, Edward walked through the door and strode over to me quickly. His face was pained and I could see the fury brimming just below the surface; his run had not depleted his anger. He wrapped his arms around me and kissed the top of my head. "I'm sorry I left you," he mumbled.

"I understand," I said.

I could hear Rosalie and Emmett noisily coming in the back door. She came reeling around the corner, hands clenched into tight fists, her eyes flashing with hostility as she glared at Edward.

"There you are!" she shouted. "Running away from the truth, were you?" she accused.

"Easy, Rose," Emmett tried to parry. "I suggested he go run off some energy to give you _both_ a chance to calm down."

"Yes, let's all calm down and see if we can talk this out," reasoned Carlisle, "as a family." He said the last part stiffly, as if there was a well-defined understanding of the expectation the word _family_ carried. Rosalie threw me a haughty glare, turned and stomped into the dining room. She roughly pulled out a chair and sat down hard. We all warily drifted in to join her.

Jasper must have been laying low. Conflict always brought back bad memories of his life before he joined the Cullens. He didn't like fighting and didn't deal well when his siblings disagreed. He came into the dining room too and almost immediately, I could feel reassuring warmth lifting my sullen mood.

"Quit it, Jasper," Rosalie said through clenched teeth. Jasper winced visibly and the warmth faded. Jasper's gift always amazed me, and I was grateful that he tried to calm the room. Memories of Phoenix and how he had helped me cope flickered through my mind.

It felt eerily familiar as we all took our seats and I recalled the last time we all sat at the table. I had come to ask for a vote on whether they would respect my decision to become a vampire and asked to join their family. Rosalie had cast the only dissenting vote saying the she would never have chosen to be a vampire and that she wished there was someone who could have voted no for her. I thought those words had been her way of trying to make a kind of peace with me, but now I wondered if I was wrong.

Rosalie and I had never quite seen eye to eye. Not that we'd spoken all that much or spent much time together. I knew she resented me for putting her family at risk and I always felt she was justified in those feelings. She was especially justified after my relationship with Edward had thrust the Cullens under the watchful eyes of the Volturi - twice.

As we all sat at the table, Esme looked anxious, like her maternal peace-maker role would be tested to its limits. Alice was quietly focusing her clairvoyant gift and Jasper glanced apprehensively between Rosalie and Edward who were glaring daggers at each other. Beside Rosalie, Emmett tried and failed to look at ease. At the head of the table, Carlisle looked stoic as he considered how to start the discussion. I gripped Edward's hand under the table, feeling him seethe with anger beside me and chewed on my lip. The tension was at a maximum and like an over stretched rubber band, it felt like it was about to snap.

Out of habit, a long-used gesture to put humans at ease, Carlisle cleared his throat to begin. I jumped at the sudden noise and he gave me a small, apologetic smile.

"Alright," he started in a calm voice. "It is my understanding that Bella has accepted Edward's proposal and that they are to be married shortly." He said it matter-of-factly and Esme nodded.

"Congratulations, by the way, Bella," she smiled at me. I returned a nervous smile as Rosalie shot her a look of disgust. Edward squeezed my hand more tightly.

Carlisle looked pointedly at Rosalie and said, "We have already accepted Bella into our family and we look forward to officially welcoming her as our daughter and sister." He paused, tense, as if expecting a sudden outburst. "If there are issues surrounding this forth-coming marriage, let us discuss them openly and honestly so that we can move past them and share in Edward's and Bella's happiness."

No one spoke. Everyone's eyes slowly turned to Rosalie.

"It's nothing personal," she began in a boorish tone. "I just don't think that we should all have to suffer so that Edward can have his play thing."

A low warning growl escaped from Edward. Esme put up her hand and looked sadly at Rosalie. "Bella is not Edward's play thing and I think _suffer_ is a bit harsh, Rosalie. We love Bella and we all want Edward to be happy. He deserves it. Can you deny that?"

"No," she replied slowly. She was choosing her words carefully. "But I don't think it is wise for him to pursue this relationship any further. Bella is human and has caused this family enough problems. I think it is time for us to put Forks, and our human associations here, behind us and move on."

"But Edward is going to change Bella right after the wedding, Rosalie. Problem solved!" Alice chimed in hopefully. The solution seemed too simple.

Rosalie stared at Alice with a disapproving look. "That is exactly what I am afraid of, Alice." She turned a scornful eye to me. "No offense, Bella, but you are extraordinarily clumsy and seem to be a magnet for danger. Edward has said so himself, many times. If that doesn't change after you are turned…. well, I simply don't want that kind of bad luck to follow my family wherever we go. I hope you understand," she said in a sickeningly innocent voice. My face went crimson as her words sunk in.

"Nothing will follow us, Rosalie, and you know it. You're reaching," Edward snarled at her, his eyes coal black with barely controlled fury.

She smiled at him smugly. "Maybe so," she said, "but I still don't think it is worth the risk. She's too much of a liability."

Edward was on his feet so fast that his chair went flying out behind him. There was a loud thump and the sound of cracking plaster as the force of the chair broke a hole in the wall.

"Liability?" Edward sneered, struggling to keep his emotions in check. He said slowly, "Would you care to explain that?"

She smiled up at him sweetly. "Certainly," she said. "We all risked our lives to save her from James. And how did she thank us? She ran off to confront him on her own, putting us in great danger of exposure. Not to mention the little incident a few days ago with Victoria and her army of newborns. Any one of us could have been destroyed."

Hot, angry tears welled up in my eyes as I listened and remembered, but there was nothing I could say; I knew she was right.

Edward's eyes narrowed and he said in a dangerously low voice, "You didn't have to help, Rosalie. Don't blame Bella for choices you made."

She scoffed. "The choice was yours, Edward! It's always been your choice where _she's_ concerned." Her voice was rising. "Ever since you met her, she has put our family at risk….._you_ have put our family at risk. She even brought the Volturi down on our heads!" she hurled at him angrily.

"She had nothing to do with that, Rosalie," his tone a warning. "If you hadn't taken such pleasure in thinking she was….dead," he shuddered at the word, "and in such a hurry to spread the good news, none of that would have happened."

"And if you hadn't been such an idiot and fallen in love with her in the first place, none of this would have happened," she spat back.

Edward was livid. He crouched into an attack position as a loud, guttural growl ripped through his throat. Beside Rosalie, Emmett shifted slightly readying to defend her.

Esme and Alice both hissed in astonishment. "Rosalie!" gasped Carlisle. "That is quite enough!"

She glowered at Edward then sat back in her chair, a self-satisfied expression forming on her face. Tears trickled from my eyes and stained my pale cheeks, a low sob betraying the depth of my despair lurched from my lips.

"Edward, please calm down and consider what you are doing to Bella. Fighting isn't going to solve anything," he reasoned. Edward took a deep breath, spun on his heel and went to retrieve his chair. He mumbled an apology to Esme about the wall as he replaced his chair and sat down facing me.

He put is arms around me and pulled me to his chest, kissing the tears from my cheeks. "I'm so sorry, Bella," he whispered gently. "Don't listen to her. She's just jealous because she's not the center of the universe."

"Go to hell, Edward!" Rosalie growled.

"Okay you two," Carlisle interjected. "I think enough damage has been done for one night. I think we should all step back and think about this. Perhaps time will give us some clarity."

Rosalie and Edward continued to glare at each other as Esme stood up and squared her shoulders. "There has to be a way to resolve this without tearing our family apart," she implored. "When we resume this discussion, would you both please try to be civil?"

Rosalie sighed. "I'm afraid we are past that now Esme," she paused for effect. "I've thought long and hard about this since fighting the newborns, and I've come to a decision. A request, really……of Bella."

"Rosalie, no……." Alice gasped, her eyes in that far away place of her visions.

"Aw, come on, Rose. You can't be serious about that?" Emmett said in disbelief.

"What are you talking about Rosalie? What request?" breathed Esme.

Rosalie drew in a deep breath and sat up stiffly. Edward's growl twisted in his throat as she started to voice what he had already heard in her mind. She looked at me and said coolly, "Bella, I'm sorry but I just don't trust you. Regardless of whose fault it was, _or wasn't_," she looked pointedly at Edward then back to me, "You have put this family in harm's way too many times. If you hadn't been involved with Edward, none of this would have happened." The tears streamed down my face blurring my vision of her. I brushed them aside with the back of my hand. "So, I'm asking you to set things right and go and live your human life." She ignored Esme's gasp and Edward's snarl. "Leave us to live to our lives in safety and secret. You belong in _that_ world Bella, not this one. I'm sure your werewolf friend, Jacob, is it?, would love to help you get over it….."

A loud, throaty sob escaped from my parted lips as I cringed, horrified at her words and her cruelty. Edward pulled me closer and I turned my face into his chest, drenching his shirt with more tears. I could hear his strained breathing as he fought for control, shaking with the rage churning inside him. The rest of the Cullens were stunned into silence.

"Rosalie, how could you even suggest such a thing?" Esme finally whispered as she slowly lowered herself back to her seat. "Bella is already a part of this family, of course she isn't leaving."

Rosalie lifted her chin in defiance. "Then you leave me no choice. If Bella joins this family, then I won't be a part of it. I can't stay and watch my family get destroyed."

"Now hold on a minute, Rosalie," Carlisle spoke each word carefully. "You don't really mean that……"

She hesitated, "I'm afraid I do, Carlisle. I don't believe the risk Bella poses to our family is worth it. I'm sorry, but it's her or me." She looked down at her hands on the table. "Emmett will join me of course….." she sighed heavily.

Fresh sobs caught in my throat as the realization of her words hit me like a freight train. I looked up at her and through hot, salty tears I whispered, "Do you really hate me that much?"

She glanced at me and something flickered across her blurry face. Remorse? Guilt? Doubt? It was so fast I couldn't be sure I even saw anything. "This isn't about _you_, Bella," she replied quietly.

"Like hell it isn't," Edward growled. He held me tighter and stroked my hair. No one spoke. My shuddering sobs, and the breath catching in the throats of Esme and Alice were the only sounds.

Minutes passed and then I felt Edward shift me into his arms and start to carry me out of the room. Through my tears, I caught a glimpse of Jasper and Emmett staring dumbfounded at the table while Carlisle slowly shook his head from side to side. Alice and Esme were still trying to catch their breath; Alice had a delicate hand over her small, perfect mouth. A resigned firmness set Rosalie's lips in a tight line as she continued to stare at her hands.

Once again, the Cullen family was on the brink of being destroyed, and once again, it was my fault.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3 – Difficult Choices

I sat numbly beside Edward in the car. The light outside was fading and the darkness felt thick as it slowly enveloped us on the narrow windy road. The tears wouldn't stop flowing and I shuddered with each sob that wrenched from my throat. I stared out the passenger window, barely aware of the forest whizzing by, not caring how recklessly Edward was driving. Nothing mattered anymore. Edward's family was broken, and it was because of me.

Somewhere, his cell phone vibrated, again. In the reflection in the window, I watched as he tried to dig it out, thrusting his hand angrily into the pocket of his jeans. Retrieving it, he grunted disgustedly, broke it in half, opened his window and launched it into the passing woods.

I tried to wipe away my tears, but they were coming too fast, I couldn't control them. Fresh sobs broke through as I remembered Rosalie's words, _it's her or me_. Edward reached out and tried to soothe me. He smoothed my hair and ran his hand down my arm finding my hand. He laced his fingers in mine and squeezed. I looked at him sorrowfully and through bleary eyes, I sobbed, "I'm sorry, Edward."

"Bella, don't even -," his voice broke and he stared at the road, not taking his eyes off it. He was grasping the steering wheel so hard I thought it might snap. We drove without speaking for a while. I pulled my hand away and wrapped my arms around my stomach, trying to keep the all-too familiar hole from breaking open again. Edward didn't need to see the extent of my hollowness; I would wait for the sanctuary of my bedroom before I completely fell apart.

I knew the inevitable would come. Edward would leave me again, he had to. I steeled myself against the pain of that thought, preparing. I forced myself to stop crying and the sobs abated. Gathering my last flecks of strength, I willed myself to keep it together until he was gone. I stared out the window again. If only I could make it to Charlie's…………….this night just never seemed to end.

The forest continued to speed by but I couldn't focus on it. It seemed my pain was making the ride home excruciatingly long. My last moments with Edward would be hard enough without prolonging it and I was busy trying to shore up my defenses for what was to come.

The forest started to thin as we went over a rise. From the top of the hill, the valley splayed out in front of us. There were thousands of lights dotting the horizon and I could see the ocean to my left. I took in the road sign as we flew past and read Olympia, 5 mi. My breath caught in my throat. Without slowing, Edward sped through the city and continued to head North.

"Where are we going, Edward? I thought you were taking me home," I said, my voice still hoarse from crying.

He didn't reply and we continued to fly down the wet highway. I could see light reflecting off the clouds in the distance and realized we were almost in Seattle. Within minutes, we rolled up to a brightly lit hotel by the airport. "Stay here," Edward mumbled as he got out of the car. I started to protest but he slammed the door and trudged into the lobby.

After a few minutes, he returned, settled back into the seat. Staring straight ahead, he turned the key in the ignition. He held a pass-key out for me and I turned to him expectantly. "Edward, please talk to me," I pleaded. He didn't look at me and when I didn't take the key, he placed it gently on my lap and threw the car into gear. He drove around the hotel and pulled into an empty spot next to the side entrance.

"It's for room 547," he nodded toward the key but refused to catch my eye. "I'll be back soon. Make sure the door is locked."

"Edward, please –," I begged.

"Bella, I can't right now," he turned to look out his side window. "I'll be back……I promise," he muttered.

I tentatively reached out to touch his hands still clutching the steering wheel. They felt like ice under the warmth of my fingertips. He did not respond and I let my hand drop, defeated. I shook as I sucked in a shallow breath, trying to stop the tears welling again in my eyes. I took the pass-key and yanked on the door handle. The door swung open effortlessly and I slowly turned to step out into the cool, rainy night. I started to walk away from the car, slouched against the cold when I heard the window open. I turned toward the noise and saw Edward stooped toward the open window looking at me.

His eyes looked coal black in the darkness, his face a mask of pain and rage. "I love you….always remember that," his voice twisted in a whisper. Before I could respond, the window closed and Edward had backed out of the space and was speeding out of the parking lot, tires squealing on the wet pavement as he accelerated away.

I stood, unmoving and watched him go until the taillights of his Volvo were indiscernible against the sea of lights on the nearby highway. I sighed heavily and let the tears slip out and slide down my cheeks. My control was slipping quickly. Using the pass-key, I let myself into the side door and numbly searched for room 547.

I stumbled into the room, not bothering to turn on any lights. Half blind from the tears and fighting against the shuddering sobs, I felt my way to the bed. My hands found and pressed down on the hard mattress as I lifted my leg to crawl onto it. In the middle of the bed, I couldn't fight the pain anymore and I collapsed, by body bucking from the fierce sobs that tore from my chest. I couldn't catch my breath and I felt myself starting to blackout.

My head swam as the darkness threatened to consume me and I fought to keep it at bay. I forced my eyes open, and from the dim city lights streaking in through gaps in the drapes, I tried to focus in spite of the blurring tears. My eyes darted around the room and caught an old oil painting on the wall. It seemed to depict a scene of two young lovers in a field filled with wildflowers on a bright sunny day. It was lovely with its many hues of green, dotted with purples and blues. My breathing started to even as

I trained my eyes on the boy in the painting; so young, with coppery hair and dark skin. He was holding hands with the girl and I could imagine them walking happily together through the grass.

I closed my eyes and thought of Edward and I, in our meadow, the sun sparkling off his luminous skin showering the grass with rainbows. I remembered his carefree smile, his dazzling eyes and the velvet timbre of his voice as we walked hand in hand talking about nothing in particular.

Heavy footsteps and people talking incoherently in the hallway brought me out of my reverie and reality crashed into me again. Fresh tears soaked the bedspread and my throat ached holding back the sobs. I pulled my legs up to my chest and wrapped my arms around them tightly trying to keep from dieing.

In the back of my mind, I was aware that someone was screaming. It was a mournful sound, full of anguish and absolute despair, its sorrowful notes told of unfathomable pain. A steady banging joined the cacophony and I thought it must be the rhythmic pounding in my head. Crying always gave me a headache. Distantly, anxious voices joined the melee, loudly shouting something I couldn't quite understand.

As my mind slowly tried to make sense of what I was hearing, I suddenly felt something pressing cold and hard against me. I tried to pull away but I couldn't move, two iron bars across my back held me in place. Beside me, I heard someone worriedly saying my name; the other voices were getting clearer too. I could understand them now.

"What's wrong with her? Is she ill?" the voice was high-pitched and tight.

"She better be," a deeper voice answered, failing to hide the layers of anger in his tone. "I don't appreciate being woken up in the middle of the night," he muttered.

"Bella?" I heard my name again. I tried to listen harder but the screaming still echoed in my head; at least the pounding had stopped. The iron bars and cold stone were gone, replaced by something refreshingly cool on my hot cheeks.

"BELLA?!" My eyes flew open, wild with panic. If only the horrible screaming in my head would stop. I took a deep breath and only then did I realize that the screaming was coming from me.

"Bella, love, you're alright. It's ok, I'm here," Edward dropped his hands cradling my face and pulled me to his chest. My breathing was hard and ragged and I clung to him desperately. In the semi-darkness behind him, I could make out 2 people standing in hotel bathrobes staring at me warily, there were several more silhouetted by the bright lights of the hallway crowding the door.

"Are you alright, dear?" It was the high-pitched voice I had heard before.

I swallowed loudly, struggling to find my voice. "Yes," I squeaked, my vocal chords were raw and sandpapery from screaming. "Just a nightmare, I guess." I tried to smile.

She looked at me doubtfully and the man beside her shrugged his narrow shoulders. "Okay then. Let's go, Mildred. Maybe we can still salvage a couple of hours of sleep." He turned and cupped Mildred's elbow, leading her to the door. "Alright, show's over, she's fine, just a nightmare. Back to bed everyone! Let's go!" he was saying as he pushed Mildred past all the people milling around the open door. I could hear them mumbling their discontent as he pulled the door closed behind him.

My tired brain was still playing catch up as Edward rocked me gently in his arms. His vice-like embrace held me tightly against his hard, icy body and I realized that he must have been holding me like that just minutes before. The gears in my mind started turning and the puzzle pieces fell together. The pounding had been someone knocking on the door trying to wake me. That was when Edward must have been calling my name. But why was I screaming?

"I should never have left you," Edward's lips were so close to my ear that I could feel his cool breath tickling my skin. "I'm so sorry." He pulled me closer.

Hearing his words, the hours-old memories whirled around in my groggy head, threatening to drown me again. Clutching fistfuls of Edward's shirt, I fought against the wave of misery with a shuddering moan and pressed my body further into his protective embrace. He rubbed his hands slowly up and down my back, breathlessly whispering in my ear, his voice thick with regret and angst. "Shhh, it's okay, Bella."

"Y-you came back," my whisper barely audible, my lips pressed against his shoulder.

"I told you I'd come back, love," he said softly. He stiffened slightly and pulled away just enough to tilt my chin up with his chilled palm. A frown knitted his brow as he looked at me. "Did you think I was going to leave you here?" Suddenly, a look of agony flashed across his face and he sucked in a quick breath. "You used to wake up screaming like that after I left last year; I've seen it in Charlie's mind." He shook his head as if trying to clear it of unpleasant thoughts. "No, Bella…. Tell me you didn't think that?" he begged.

I looked away quickly, not wanting my face to betray the depth of my fear. I stared at my hands in my lap, absentmindedly playing with the hem of my t-shirt. "I don't know," I mumbled, gnawing on my lip. "You were so angry with me, I –"

"Angry with you?" he broke in, confusion clouding his voice. "Bella, I wasn't angry with you. You haven't done anything wrong." He took my hands in his and I glanced up at his face, worry lines creased his pale forehead.

"B-but you were so…… upset, you couldn't even look at me," I murmured timidly.

"That wasn't about you, love, that was about Rosalie." He forced out her name through clenched teeth. "I'm sorry I couldn't explain before, but it took every ounce of strength I had to keep my temper in check. It's been too long since I hunted and I couldn't risk hurting you if I lost control."

In the pale light of the coming dawn, I could make out the dark caramel in his eyes. No longer icy black, they were bright pools of liquid gold. The pain in them still clear and raw, but the fury ebbed and the black thirst was gone. He gave me a small smile and squeezed my hands. "Can you forgive me?" he asked unsure.

"There's nothing to forgive," I promised. He eyed me with doubt, reading the uncertainty in my face. I knew Edward loved me, but the memories of last night's family meeting were tugging at my soul, asking the inevitable question: When? When would he leave me to go home and mend his broken family? How long did we have? Days? Hours? My head spun and I started to shiver at the thought of trying to live without him again. I didn't know if I could; I didn't know if I even wanted to try.

"Hey, hey," he soothed as he gathered the bedspread off the other bed and gently wrapped it around my slender shoulders. "You're freezing and you must be hungry. Let me get you something to eat, you didn't get to have dinner last night."

He walked over to a bag I hadn't noticed sitting on the dresser beside the television. He dug around and pulled out something wrapped in paper. "Sorry, not much to choose from at three in the morning," he said as he handed me the food. Trying to push down the ache in my heart, with trembling fingers I unwrapped what turned out to be a sandwich. I sighed and resolved to make the best of whatever time he would give me, to live in the moment. He crawled back onto the bed and sat cross-legged in front of me. On a napkin, he placed a donut beside me and held out a bottle of Coke.

I hadn't realized how thirsty I was until the first refreshing sip fizzed down my throat. I took a few gulps a little too fast and sputtered and coughed as the soda went up my nose. Edward smiled and chuckled as he gently clapped me on the back.

"Thanks for the food," I croaked as the coughing spell faded. "When did you get it?"

"I picked it up last night after I finished hunting. I figured you might be hungry," he smiled at me sheepishly.

I took a bite of the sandwich, chewed slowly and swallowed. Edward watched me intently. I was always self-conscious when I had to eat in front of him; he seemed so fascinated. My hand flew up to cover my mouth as I chewed my second bite, my face blazing hot with a blush. "What?" I asked hiding my smile.

He looked at me with a serious expression. "I just don't understand how anyone can eat food. What is the appeal? It's disgusting!" He stuck his tongue out in emphasis.

I laughed softly, "You think eating _food_ is disgusting? _You, _of all people? How was your cougar tonight, by the way? Warm and bloody?" I teased.

He grinned at me, his face alight with amusement. "No cougar tonight. Too close to the city. I had to settle for a deer and a couple of oddly large raccoons."

I rolled my eyes. "Oh, so the idea of food turns your stomach but you'll eat giant, mutated vermin? Now that's gross!"

"You just wait!" he wagged a pale finger at me. "Your time is coming and then you'll see it my way!" he laughed.

His laughter faded quickly as he became aware of the sudden change in my demeanor. My eyes were locked on the sandwich in my lap, my face drained of color. My left hand gripped the bottle of Coke so tightly it flexed, threatening to spill the sticky, dark liquid all over the bed.

"Bella, what's wrong?" he asked, his voice anxious.

I didn't move or speak; afraid the pain and fear sitting just below the surface would swell up and engulf me. He gently pried the bottle from my hand and placed it on the night stand. He tilted my chin up see my face and a single tear trickled down my cheek. With a cool finger, he brushed it away and looked at me with troubled eyes.

"What is it, love? Is it something I said?" " he asked again, uncertainty flickering across his perfect features as he struggled to understand. I could sense him replaying the conversation in his mind. "Are you afraid of the blood? Drinking it I mean?" He knew I fainted at the sight and smell of it. "Because I promise you it won't seem so awful after you're turned. In fact, you'll actually like it!" he said brightly hoping to dispel my gloom.

Another tear escaped and slid down my face. His smile wilted as he brushed it away with such tenderness it nearly broke my heart.

"Please, Bella. Tell me what's wrong," he pleaded in a low, quiet voice.

I drew in a shaky breath, steadying myself. "I just don't understand, Edward," my voice barely a whisper. "Why would you say I'll see it your way when you know it's not true?" I looked at him from under thick, dark lashes matted with wet tears. He raised an eyebrow in confusion. "Why did you bring me here? Why didn't you just take me home and get it over with?" My voice was getting bitter faced with the impeding agony of what I knew he must do. "Why are you prolonging it? Are you trying to hurt me more?" I glared down at my sandwich not willing to look at him.

He sat across from me like a statue in shocked silence. Recovering slowly, he shook his head and said hesitantly, "I'm not sure I follow, Bella. Get what over with? And I'm not trying to hurt you…." he trailed off.

"Then why are you talking like everything is, is…normal? Like last night didn't happen? Like I'm still going to be a vampire? Like we're still going to be together….." my breath hitched and I shuddered.

"Because nothing _has_ changed. I _will_ turn you and we _will_ be together, forever…. If that's still what you want," he added tentatively.

"I do," I mumbled, "but I want the impossible."

"Bella, look at me," his cold finger was curled under my chin, tugging gently. "It's not impossible. We _will_ have our happily ever after." The crooked smile I loved so much formed on his face. My heart skipped a beat and I had to concentrate on breathing normally. Why was he doing this to me?

I pulled away and stared at a sunbeam inching across the floor. "Don't make promises we both know you can't honor, Edward," I said flatly. The knot in my chest was rising and the tears were close again. "Why are you trying to give me hope when I know in the end that you will leave me…..you have to." I pulled the blanket tighter around my body like it could shield me from the loneliness and pain to come. I shuddered again as I fought back the wave of panic that washed over me. My voice shook with fear. "You have to go home to -."

"I'm not going home," anger thickly coated his soothing tone. "_We_ are not going home." My head snapped up to look at him in disbelief. I blinked back tears as he drew in a breath, steadying himself. "I will not break my promises, Bella. Any of them. We'll simply go to Vegas to get married….. and all that entails." He looked away quickly. If there was blood in his veins, I would have sworn his ears would go scarlet. He looked back at me, his eyes gentle. "We will find a suitable place, isolated and safe and then, when you are ready, I _will_ turn you. We will be together. Always."

I suddenly felt dizzy and black dots invaded my vision. "Breathe, love." I could hear Edward's chuckle, it was warm and low, like a welcoming fire. He grazed my jaw with his icy thumb and half smiled, uncertain of my expression.

I stared at him, speechless, my mouth agape in disbelief. He wasn't going home. He would never see his family again. He was leaving his family for me. My mind was spinning, my heart was racing. The emotions cascaded over me: joy, anticipation, longing, doubt, and finally stubborn anger settled into place. I couldn't let him do that. I wouldn't let him do that. He had to at least try to repair his broken family.

I snapped my mouth shut with an audible click and leveled a glare at him. "No, Edward. This isn't the way it's supposed to be. You have to go back." His face, suddenly dark and bewildered, looked especially pale in the thin light of the room.

"But I can't go back, Bella. I won't, not if you're unwelcome there." His mouth formed a thin line, firm in his resolve.

"Well, I can't go along with your plan." Pain flickered in his eyes. "I'm sorry, Edward, but I won't be the reason your family falls apart. That wasn't part of our deal," my voice sounded much calmer and resigned than I felt.

"So, you chose to leave your family for me but I can't choose to leave mine for you?" The anger was clear in his voice. "Are you the only one who gets to play the martyr here?"

My breath caught in my chest, my eyes wide with shock. "I'm sorry," he mumbled, looking away, "that was uncalled for."

I took a steadying breath and reached for his hand. It felt like cold, smooth marble between my warm palms. I looked at him beseechingly, knowing that I wanted him with all of my heart but knowing too, I could never make him pay this high a price for me without cause.

"The only choice I ever had was being with you, knowing and accepting what that meant for my family. I am mortal with mortal ties, Edward, you are not." I squeezed his hand in mine, willing him to understand. "You can't compare apples to oranges. I am willing to give up my family for you but I am not willing for you to give up your family for me. I couldn't live with myself knowing that we would be alone for eternity because of me. You need them, and I'm going to need them too. We need a family, Edward. You know in your heart I'm right. You have to go home. You have to fix this."

He looked down at our hands. "What if I can't fix it?" he asked in a low, quiet voice.

"I don't know," I whispered honestly. I reached up and cupped his cheek in my hand, lifting his face to meet my eyes. "But you have to try."


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4 – Banishment

Surprisingly, Edward drove the speed limit as we headed home to Forks. Our hands gripped together resting on the console. We hardly spoke and the miles passed quickly under the tires. All too soon, he was guiding the car through the familiar turns leading into town.

Tears brimmed my eyes as he turned down the street to Charlie's house. It was early afternoon and the drizzle pelted the cruiser parked in the driveway. Edward pulled up to the curb and, letting go of my hand, shut off the engine. He turned in his seat, his face grim, his voice soft.

"What now?" he asked, dread etching his beautiful face.

"I'm not sure," I sighed heavily. "I guess you go and try to talk to Rosalie and work something out." We both stared at the floor.

"Bella, I'm so scared I'm going to lose you," he breathed. It was so quiet, I couldn't even be sure I'd heard it. Minutes passed as I pulled at a loose thread on my jeans.

I glanced up at his porcelain face. He looked drained and so, so tired. My heart ached for him, for us, and for what he must face at home.

I faked a smile and tried, unconvincingly, to sound upbeat. "Things will work out, Edward. They have to," I added. "After all we've been through, I have to believe that….." I trailed off.

He reached up and traced his fingers along my jaw line, his golden eyes boring into mine. "Promise me this is not the end," he swallowed, "for us….."

I was mesmerized by the depth of the love in his eyes. I could see the pain flickering as dark flashes of amber and gold mingled together. "It had better not be," I mumbled, unable to tear my gaze from his. "If I have to rip her arms off and beat some sense into her with them I will. Not even Emmett will be able to stop me." A grin broke across his face as he pictured weak, feeble, human me trying to batter his sister. I giggled in spite of myself and he brought his forehead to touch mine.

"I love you," he whispered.

"I love you, too…… no matter what." Our lips met gently. His hand trailed to my neck and his fingers tangled in my hair. I placed my hand on his shoulder and it slowly slid down his chest, gathering his shirt in my fist. My breathing became heavy and I pulled him closer to me. I wrapped my other arm around his neck and crushed my lips against his. The pain and uncertainty of the past day poured out of me as I kissed him hard and my eyes welled up. Our tongues dueled and our touches became electric in the heat of the enclosed car. The hot tears streamed down my face and chin, dripping onto the leather seats. Edward pulled away as an angry sob escaped my throat. "Please, don't…" I gasped, pointlessly trying to pull him back.

He took my arm from around his neck, kissed my small palm and placed it in his. With his free hand he brushed away my tears then looked down, playing with his mother's ring on my finger. "You were right at the hotel," he started. "You were right when you said that I had to try to fix my family. For all of us, you were right." He lifted his head to look at me. "Bella, I have to ask you something." He hesitated, sucking in a deep breath. "I won't make them choose between me and Rosalie. If I can't work things out with her, I will leave. So, if I end up alone," he looked at me earnestly, "will you still want to be with me?"

I blinked back tears and squeezed his hand. I had promised myself I would be brave; if he wasn't strong enough to let me go until his family was mended, then I would have to be.

"I will always want you, Edward, I could, and would, never want to change that." I chewed at my lower lip. "But promise me something?"

He looked at me warily; he knew from experience that it was a loaded question. "It depends," he said apprehensively, his eyes narrowing.

I looked down to steel myself against the painful words. "Promise me that no matter what, you will forgive Rosalie and stay. I don't want to be the reason your family is broken. They are more important than me." As the words quietly tumbled from my lips, I immediately wanted to take them back. I knew what I was asking. If Rosalie didn't budge, I was asking him to leave me, asking him to allow the pain and anguish to devour us both for as long as it took. But I couldn't take the words back. I loved him too much to take his family from him. The tears I was trying so hard to hold back, started spilling over and my body shook.

He swallowed trying to control the grief I could see clouding his eyes. "I can't believe you're asking this of me," his voice was a tortured whisper.

A sob wrenched from my chest as I looked up and saw the agony in his face. I never thought I would ever see this day. He promised me he would never leave me again unless I asked him to go. And here I was telling him he needed to go, for how long I didn't know.

He stiffened, dropped my hand and turned back in his seat. "Maybe you should go, Bella," he mumbled.

"I – I'm sorry, Edward," I sobbed. "They are more important."

"Not to me," he said quietly, an edge to his voice. I could tell he was holding back. There was more, much more he wanted to say, but he silently gripped the steering wheel, staring straight ahead. The anger building in him rolled off in waves. His eyes narrowed and his jaw clenched with the effort of restraint.

I sniffed back my sobs and wiped my tears with the back of my hand. I drew in a quick breath and in a wavering voice said, "I can't ask you give them up for me…I won't."

He nodded curtly.

I stared down at my hands. "I hate this," I mumbled.

The sound of Edward's exasperated sigh made me jump. "What do you want from me, Bella?" he asked, his tone layered in pain and confusion.

I stared up at him blankly and he turned to me again, his eyes smoldering in anger. "I don't know what to do. Your logic doesn't make any sense. You were crushed because you thought I was leaving you and now you're asking me to go? You said you want me, but now you don't anymore? Not unless I'm a Cullen? I don't get it, Bella," he threw up his hands and they came down hard on the console, shaking the whole car.

The topaz in his eyes was giving way to the onyx fury that still sat, barely controlled, just below the surface. If he thought that, I knew I had handled this all wrong. "No, I… I really haven't explained myself very well," I stammered. I closed my eyes and drew in a deep breath. I focused my thoughts and exhaled, opening my eyes. His expectant face was inches from mine and I resisted the urge to reach out and stroke his cheek.

"I love you, Edward, with everything I am. And I do want to be with you, I will always want you. But family comes first – if you don't have family, you have nothing. Those are Carlisle's words. It is part of your code for life, Edward, and I can't let you abandon that, not for me. You have to fix this, as long as it takes." I gently placed my hand over his. "I will be waiting for you. I'm not going anywhere, there's no where for me to go without you. I don't want to live without you for even one second, but this is more important then what I want. Your family is your past and _our_ future. I'd rather have to live for a while with the nightmares and pain then live an eternity with guilt and regret." I smiled at him weakly. "I never thought I'd be defending Rosalie, but…. she is your sister, she loves you and, however misguided, she is doing what she thinks is best for all of you."

He choked back the growl rumbling in his chest and looked at me from under his impossibly long lashes. His anger fading, he asked, "So, this is just a postponement? We're not… over?" A small smile worked at the corners of his mouth.

I smiled, giddy in the relief that he finally understood and I threw my arms around his neck. "Edward Cullen, you could never get rid of me that easily! And just so we are clear, no matter how long I am on this earth, I will never be over you." I nuzzled into his neck as he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me closer.

"How long do you think it will take? When will I be able to see you again?" I asked, hesitantly.

"I honestly don't know, Bella. I'll have to see what happens when I get home I guess," he sighed.

"Do you think that you could come back…… for tonight at least?"

He kissed my cheek and chuckled. "How about I just never leave?"

"I wish," I breathed as I pulled away from his cool, tight embrace. "But, go figure this out with Rosalie. The sooner, the better. I'm not getting any younger, you know!" I leaned over and kissed him gently, lingering. I whined my unwillingness to leave as I grabbed at the handle behind me and started backing out of the car.

"Rosalie can be very stubborn," he warned, "and time means nothing when you're immortal."

"I know," I attempted to smile, "so you'd better work fast. I love you." I winced as I closed the door and turned to the house. I could hear the engine fading in the distance as I opened the front door, suddenly realizing I would have to come up with something fast to explain my absence last night.

"Hey dad," I called into the dusty darkness, "I'm sorry about last night."

I saw Charlie sitting in his usual spot, riveted to the television. It must have been a particularly engaging game because he didn't even look up.

"Yeah, Alice called me. She told me you fell asleep on the couch going over some stuff for the wedding." I tried to hide my surprise. Of course, Alice would have seen Edward and me in Seattle. I made a mental note to thank her and started for the stairs. "Where's your _fiancé_?" Charlie asked, failing to conceal the dislike in his voice.

"He's at home," I said with a warning note in my voice. "Don't you think it's time to stop being mad at him? He's not going away, dad. Edward will be a part of my life forever so you'd better get used to it! You gave us your blessing, remember?"

Charlie glanced at me and sighed. "Yeah, I remember but it -"

"It doesn't mean you have to like it, I know…." I finished for him.

"Well, I don't," he said stubbornly. "But I'll try, how's that?"

I closed the few steps between us and leaned over to hug him. "That's all I ask," I said brightly, giving him a quick embrace. "I'll be upstairs if you need me," I called over my shoulder. I was half-way up the stairs when I heard his mumbled response.

It wasn't until I was in the privacy of my room with the door closed that I realized how incredibly tired I was. I didn't get much sleep at the hotel, not good sleep anyway, because I was too busy thinking and worrying about Edward and his family.

Throwing myself onto my bed, I replayed the last day in my head. All the painful details surfaced again and I could picture Rosalie's beautiful face contorted into a scowl as she stared at me across the table. She was breathtaking in her glory, but there were aspects of her personality that were downright ugly. I wanted to love her as I loved the others, but she always made it so difficult and I wasn't sure she'd ever let me in. I really thought we were getting somewhere when she confided in me the story of her turning. But that was before Victoria brought her newborn vampire army to kill me and destroy the Cullens. After everything, I'm sure last night was perfectly justified in her mind.

I was just glad that I had been able to get Edward to understand. It had never been my intention for him to leave me permanently, but I needed him to fix things with Rosalie. The Cullens would be my family as much as they were his and I didn't want to start our life together with that hanging over our heads. Sometimes it was a pain that I was the only one immune to Edward's ability to hear people's thoughts. But everything was clear now and nothing had changed. It may take a little longer, but we would still get everything we wanted. And Charlie and Renee would like that things might move more slowly.

I sucked in a quick breath as I realized that without trying, Rosalie had succeeded in doing what Edward never could: getting me to voluntarily wait to be turned. Edward had begged me to experience as much as I could as a human, but I had no interest. I wanted to be like him and not burden him and his family with my human weaknesses and frailties. Yet, I was asking for more time thanks to Rosalie. I smirked sarcastically at the irony.

I thought about jumping in the shower but a wave of exhaustion struck me and I settled deeper in the covers on my bed to read for awhile first. I snatched up the book on top of the pile on the floor beside my night stand. It was Gulliver's Travels. I stuck out my tongue and dug in the pile for Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice. I stared at the cover thinking about the scandal of Elizabeth Bennett and Mr. Darcy melding their two classes together in Victorian times. I vaguely wondered what that society would have said about me and Edward, human and vampire. I smiled at the thought as I opened the cover to start reading.

Soon I was deep into the book, my shower forgotten. At some point, Charlie called up to see if I wanted any pizza. At least he wasn't trying to cook. I wasn't hungry and passed on his offer. The light in my room was fading slowly and I could barely keep my eyes open. I glanced at the clock; it was 7:30. Too early to go to bed, but I decided to rest my eyes for just a few minutes. I would take a quick nap, I promised myself, then I would shower.

I woke up suddenly to find my room pitch black. I felt Edward's cool breath near my cheek and his melodic voice hummed the lullaby he wrote for me. I pulled my hand from under the pillow, brought it down to his at my waist and laced our fingers together.

"You came! But it's so early," I murmured sleepily and closed my eyes again. "What if Charlie hears?" Stupid question really, since Edward could hear when Charlie was coming. He could probably hear when Charlie was leaving the police station for the day.

He chuckled as he pulled my body more tightly against his. "Charlie checked on you about 7 hours ago. He's sleeping now."

I listened intently and could faintly hear the rhythmic snores coming from Charlie's room down the hall. Suddenly, Edward's word sunk in and my eyes flew open as I frantically searched for the dim light of the clock. "It's around 5, Bella," Edward whispered, clearly amused.

I turned my body face up to the ceiling and rested a hand on my forehead. "I only meant to take a nap," I muttered.

Edward propped himself up on his elbow and peered at me through the darkness. "You were very tired. You needed to sleep," he smiled. "But now, I need something," he lifted his hand to trace the outline of my lips and leaned toward me. I quickly pulled my hand from my forehead and covered my mouth, my eyes wide with embarrassment, the blood rushing to my cheeks.

Edward raised a questioning eyebrow and from behind my hand I mumbled, "I need a human minute!"

"You know I don't care, Bella," he sighed as he flopped on to his back. The bed creaked and shook under us.

"But I do," I insisted. I stood up and glanced down at the same rumpled clothes I had been wearing for 2 days. Horrified, I remembered I had decided to nap instead of showering yesterday and started to quickly riffle through drawers, gathering fresh clothes.

"Hurry back," his tone was teasing. "I've got news."

I stopped mid-riffle and slowly turned to eye him warily. "Good or bad?" I asked hesitantly.

"I'm not telling," he raised his chin playfully. "Think of it as an incentive for you to hurry."

I groaned softly at having to wait, snatched up my toiletries bag and headed for the bathroom. "Like I need more incentive to hurry with you sprawled on my bed," I muttered. I could hear his soft laughter as I closed to bathroom door and turned on the hot water.

My human minute stretched into several as I showered, shaved and brushed my teeth. In the back of my mind, I was looking forward to being a vampire just so I could stop worrying about things like that.

I emerged from the bathroom, my dark, thick hair piled high on my head twisted in a towel. I could still hear Charlie snoring as I opened my bedroom door and stepped in to find Edward rocking silently in the chair in the corner of the room. He inhaled a deep breath through his nose, glanced at the towel on my head and grinned, beckoning me over. I quietly closed the door and walked over to him.

I shyly stepped between his legs and he placed his hands lightly on my hips. He gently turned me until my back was to him and pulled. Lowering my body onto his so I was sitting in his lap, he slid one arm around my waist and took the towel off my head with the other hand. With a soft whish, the towel slumped to the floor and he pulled my wet hair across my back exposing my neck. I shivered as he ran his nose lightly from my ear to my shoulder, inhaling. A soft moan escaped his lips as he traced the line back with feathery kisses. "I'll never be able to get enough of your scent," he whispered.

With one hand, I clutched at his arm around my waist as I brought my other arm up, over my shoulder to encircle his neck, plunging my fingers into his bronze hair. "Bella," he breathed in my ear. I arched my back and turned my head to meet his lips in a soft, tender kiss. He effortlessly twisted my body in his lap until my feet dangled over the arm rest.

I pulled away slightly to look deep into his eyes as I brushed his icy cheek with my fingertips. He entwined his fingers in my hair and brought his other hand from my waist to tilt up my chin. He bent his head toward me and tentatively kissed the hollow on my shoulder. When his cool lips brushed my skin, an involuntary moan escaped my throat. I felt him smile against my skin. Spurred on by my response, his tongue traced the contours of my collarbone and I gasped.

I grabbed a fistful of his hair as he licked and kissed his way up to my ear. He pulled my earlobe into his mouth, biting it gently and I had to suck in my lip to stop from moaning too loudly. I could feel him smile again against my skin as he wrapped an arm around my waist. I turned my head, searching for his mouth with mine. "Edward," I murmured, my voice hoarse with passion.

As our lips and tongues danced to an unheard rhythm, I became acutely aware of Edward's hand gently lifting the hem of my oversized sweatshirt. I shivered as I felt his palm flat against my bare back, slowly moving from side to side. It felt like every nerve ending in my body was firing at once and I whimpered at the exquisite sensation.

His fingers brushed my skin so lightly I couldn't be sure they were there at all. I felt him softly inch his way up the small of my back, tracing a line to my shoulder blades with his palm. Suddenly, I felt him stiffen slightly, not daring to move his hand when he realized I wasn't wearing a bra.

Afraid of him stopping, I trailed kisses down his throat, grazing his skin with my tongue until he relaxed and a low growl passed his parted lips. I smiled as he increased the pressure of his hand and resumed lazily exploring my back. I pulled away to stare into his eyes; they were black with lust. I smiled and he untangled his hand from my hair to trace my lips with his fingers.

I took his hand in mine and kissed each finger gently, then his palm. His skin was smooth and cold on my warm, wet lips. I brought his hand back to my mouth and cocked my head to the side. Tentatively, I licked the end of one finger and heard a growl rumble in his throat. I licked again and sucked his finger into my mouth. The sensation was incredible as the heat of my mouth enveloped and melted the ice of his finger. I watched in awe as his eyes fluttered closed and he dropped his head to my shoulder, straining against the groan building in his chest. As I sucked again, I felt the fingers on his other hand dig into my shoulder and rake diagonally down my back to rest at my side. "Bella," his voice was a low warning, fighting for control.

My unrelenting desire for him took over and I sucked another of his fingers into my mouth. Before I lost my nerve, I grabbed his hand at my side and started to guide it up under the front of my sweatshirt. Edward shook his head once against my shoulder and stopped my drifting hand. "Bella, don't," he breathed hoarsely.

"I'm desensitizing you," I muttered taking another of his fingers in my mouth. I resumed my rhythmic sucking and tugged upward on his hand, now trembling on my stomach.

He let me slide it up a few more inches but as the tips of his fingers brushed lightly against the underside of my breasts he froze. "Bella…don't move," he spoke through gritted teeth.

I released the suction in my mouth and he quickly pulled his hand away. Carefully, he backed his hand out from under my sweatshirt and turned his face away from me.

We sat like that for several minutes; I was focused on barely breathing and he was concentrating on trying to not kill me. This was the most intimate we had ever been and I knew his control was being tested to the limit. Unfortunately, one of my feet fell asleep and was starting to hurt so I had to shift my weight in his lap. He clenched his jaw, squinted his closed eyes and groaned. "Sorry," I squeaked.

I sat as still as I could until he opened his eyes and looked at me warily. I smiled at him hesitantly and in a small voice asked, "Is everything okay now?"

He gave a low chuckle and replied, "As long as you don't move." His voice was husky, still echoing the lust from just minutes before. "Next time warn me before you do that," he smiled my crooked smile and my heart skipped a beat.

"I got caught up in the moment," I grinned at him sheepishly. "Besides, you started it!" He laughed as I playfully poked a finger in his chest.

"Guilty," he chimed, raising his hands in surrender. "You did make a good point though." I raised my eyebrows in confusion and he looked at me with amusement.

"What?" I giggled impatiently, grabbing his hand and lacing my fingers in his.

"Well," he started, nervously looking down at our hands on my lap. "What you said about desensitizing." He glanced up at me, my eyes watching him expectantly. He sighed, letting the air pass through his lips in a slow, drawn out sound. "Remember when we first met and I was having trouble not….not killing you?" He swallowed hard and I shuddered at the memory of the liquid black thirst in his eyes that first day in biology. He squeezed my hand, his eyes full of regret.

"But you didn't," I said gently, trying to wash away his pain with the love and trust in my voice.

"No, I didn't," he gave me a small smile, "because I got used to your scent."

My brows knitted in confusion as I tried to make the connection he was hinting at. "Maybe if I was…… exposed to you more," he voice tinged with embarrassment, his eyes wide as if it should be the most obvious thing in the world. "Exposed to your…. body," he mumbled and looked away, clearly uncomfortable saying the words.

I laughed as what he was getting at finally became glaringly apparent and gave him, what I hoped, was a seductive smile. "More exposure?" I purred and leaned closer so he could feel my breath on his cheek as I whispered in his ear, "Let's test that theory." I traced his jaw line with my fingertips and gently turned his face to mine. My lips found his as my hand wound its way around his neck and ran up through his hair.

He returned my kiss eagerly and wrapped his arms around my waist. I ran my tongue along his lower lip and a guttural moan rattled his chest. He cupped my face and gently pushed me away. His voice was gravelly with passion as he smiled and muttered, "Bella, I think we've tested that theory enough for now."

I childishly stuck out my lower lip in a pout and sighed, "Aw, come on, Edward. You can't really mean that." He laughed at my feeble attempt at manipulation and gave me a quick kiss.

"Of course I don't want to stop, love, but I am in dire need of recovery time. Don't worry though; we _will_ test my hypothesis later." He tried to wriggle his eyebrows in intimation but only succeeded in looking really surprised. I giggled and he looked at me in mock offense as he picked me up. He set me gingerly on the bed and wrapped a blanket around my shoulders. He crawled on the bed beside me and rested against the headboard, opening his arms so I could slide in beside him. He wrapped an arm firmly around my waist as I rested my head on his shoulder.

"Now, what were we going to talk about before you so rudely distracted me with your unbelievably tantalizing scent?" He turned his head and inhaled the freshness of my still-damp hair. He sighed happily and I could sense the smile forming at the corners of his mouth.

I thought back to our earlier conversation and with a start remembered that Edward had news. I sat straight up and turned my body to look at his face. It was smooth and serene, his skin flawless in all its pale glory. My breath caught, my mind lost focus. I was again humbled to be the one this magnificent man had chosen as his bride, and I vowed to always strive to be worthy of the love he unconditionally bestowed upon me.

"Aren't you even a little curious about my news?" he asked, amusement glimmering in his golden eyes. I had been so enthralled by his splendor, I had momentarily forgotten what we were talking about.

I shook my head lightly and smiled at him sheepishly. "Sorry," I mumbled. "It's not my fault you take my breath away."

At those words, a broad grin spread across his gorgeous face and the blood rushed to my cheeks. Rolling my eyes in embarrassment, I said, "So, is it good or bad?"

"It depends, I guess," his face took on a serious expression. "Rosalie and Emmett left for Alaska last night."

"No!" I was shocked, my mouth hung open. Never in my wildest imaginings did I expect that. I sat in stunned silence and stared, not focusing on anything, trying to grasp what it could mean.

Edward sighed, reached out and placing his fingertips under my chin, gently closed my mouth. "Wh….what happened?" I stuttered.

He drew in a deep breath. "Rosalie and Alice got into it after we left. Alice tried to defend us, defend you, but Rosalie called her a traitor and destroyed the dining room table. Alice had a vision of us in the hotel so she and Jasper decided to come looking for us when I didn't answer my phone." Picturing him tossing the phone in the woods, I glanced at him and saw guilt mixed with amusement twinkling in his topaz eyes. "I should really go clean that up," he mumbled, chuckling to himself.

"Anyway….!" I prompted, nervously twisting the blanket in my hands.

He gave me a quick, apologetic smile and said, "Well…. Carlisle and Esme were very disappointed with Rosalie but they tried to get her to come around. Emmett tried too, but she refused to even listen to them." He reached out and put his hands over mine, looking hesitantly in my eyes. "They kind of suggested she leave and Emmett went with her."

"They what?" I gasped. "Why would they do that?"

"Because they love you, Bella." I opened my mouth to protest and he held up his hands. "Look, before you get upset and blame yourself again, just hear me out." He glanced at me and I rolled my eyes impatiently, gesturing for him to continue.

He inhaled deeply and again, took my hands in his. "As I'm sure you know, Esme and Carlisle are the backbone of our family. They are the ones we all go to when we need advice. They really are surrogate parents to us all and we respect their opinion above all others. They are both wise beyond their years and are the glue that keeps our family together." The glimmers of pride and gratitude in his golden eyes made them shine brightly as he smiled at me.

"Esme and Carlisle established the code we all live by, and that code includes unconditional acceptance of others into our coven, our family. None of us hesitated when Rosalie brought Emmett home and asked Carlisle to change him. We welcomed Alice and Jasper when they showed up on our doorstep. Then when you came along…. when I fell in love with you, you automatically became part of our family. Though Rosalie made her thoughts and feelings well known, she never questioned that aspect of the code… until now," he sighed and looked down. I squeezed his hands realizing how his family's estrangement must tear him up inside.

He ran a hand roughly through his hair and sighed again. "I just don't understand her. Everyone else already thinks of you as a Cullen. And we've always stood behind her, no matter what." His eyes were sad as he looked at me in defeat, shaking his head. "I just don't get it."

My heart ached for him and I reached out and pulled him to me, wrapping my arms around his neck. I rocked him back and forth out of habit as I grasped, unsuccessfully, for something to say that could take away his pain. "I'm sorry, Edward," I mumbled into his chest.

He held me tightly for a few moments then pulled away to look at me. His face still somber, he kissed my forehead lightly and continued, "When Esme and Carlisle spoke with Rosalie after we left, they begged her to put aside her pride and let go of whatever it is that she has against you. It was a hard decision but they suggested that if she no longer believed in the code we live by that maybe she needed some time to re-evaluate her choice to live with us. Of course, she was irate, packed her bags immediately and left. Emmett had no choice but to follow her, he can't live without her anymore than I could live without you. He told Carlisle to tell us that he was sorry and that he would see us at the wedding."

I could feel Edward's eyes on me as I looked down and put immense care in examining the pattern on my bed spread. I was trying hard not to cry as I knew it would only upset him further.

"What are you thinking, Bella?" he asked in a small voice. "Are you alright?"

I took in a shaky breath and focused. "I'm okay. I just wish things didn't have to be this way." I sighed and peered up at him uncertainly. "Do you think we should go on as planned? Do you think Emmett can really bring her around by then? It's not much time." A quick calculation in my head confirmed that there was only about 7 weeks until the big day.

Edward pursed his lips and shrugged his shoulders. "Rosalie is very stubborn, Bella," he said gently. "But maybe after she calms down, she'll listen to reason. If anyone can get through to her, it's Emmett. And for all of his teasing, he really does love you." He smiled. "I think we should give him a chance."

I looked at him contemplatively as I thought about his bear of a brother and smiled in spite of myself. He had always given Edward and me a hard time. He thought my human foibles were hilarious and teased me relentlessly, but I knew his loyalty to the Cullens was beyond measure. I had no doubt he would give everything to make things right again and I trusted him without question.

I reached up and cupped Edward's face in my hands. "I think you're right, Edward." I kissed him gently. "Are Alice and Jasper back yet?"

Surprised, he said, "They got back just after we did yesterday, why?"

"Because I think I should say something to your family. And since we are going ahead with the wedding, I'm going to have to make some decisions before Alice gets out of hand with the plans," I smiled ruefully. "I think it's only appropriate that we tone things down a bit now."

"You're not upset?" he eyed me suspiciously

I shrugged lightly. "I am, but I trust Emmett and I trust Rosalie's love for your family. If Emmett says he can bring her around, I believe him." I got up off the bed and started to comb out my matted hair in readiness to go.

Edward watched me intently, not entirely convinced. After a few minutes, he asked, "We aren't going now, are we? It's 7am!"

I glanced at him, bewildered. "Vampires don't sleep, Edward! Three in the morning, ten at night, what difference does it make?" I asked. Suddenly it occurred to me that perhaps he was stalling on purpose. I walked back to the bed and slowly ran my finger across his full lips. "Or did you have another reason for not wanting to leave yet?" I said coyly.

He grinned and playfully pretended to nip at my finger. "In fact I do," he replied smugly. "Charlie."

A small frown knitted my forehead as I realized what Charlie would think if he woke and I was missing. "Good point," I muttered. "But in the mean time…." I said hopefully.

He flashed my beloved crooked smile and shook his head. "You're insatiable, Bella."

"Only for you, Edward," I leaned over and kissed him suggestively.

He pulled away stiffly and under his breath he said, "Charlie's awake."

I listened hard and heard Charlie shuffle into the bathroom and close the door. When the water was running Edward cupped my cheek and kissed me on the forehead. "Go have some breakfast and I'll be back to get you soon." He had the window open before it registered in my brain that he had even stood up. He looked back at me and grinned again. "And put on a bra!" he whispered as he jumped through the window. I ran to watch him go but he had already disappeared into the woods, his melodic laughter still echoing in the air. Glancing at the rocking chair, the intimate memories made me shiver as I smiled at his parting words and headed for the kitchen to get breakfast together for Charlie.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5 – Epiphany

I nervously shifted in the seat next to Edward as he steered the car around the tight turns of his driveway. He circled behind the house to park in the garage and I sighed as he pulled in next to the conspicuously empty space where Rosalie's bright red BMW should be parked.

Before his door had even clicked shut, he was holding out his hand, waiting patiently to help me out of my seat. Squeezing my hand reassuringly, he smiled and gently pulled me toward the front of the house. Climbing up the porch steps, I tripped and shuddered not knowing what I would say to his family. Edward caught me and pulled me against his chest.

Looking in my eyes and kissing me lightly he said, "It'll be alright, Bella."

He held me close as he turned the knob and guided me through the door with gentle pressure on the small of my back. It felt like I was having déjà vu as I saw Carlisle and Esme standing next to Edward's piano, just like the first time we'd been formally introduced. Alice came bounding down the stairs and danced over to a stop in front of me.

"Don't ever let him take you away from me again, Bella!" she pouted. Leaning in she whispered, "We've missed you," and kissed me on the cheek. I could see Jasper behind her on the bottom step of the grand staircase and she retreated to stand in front of him.

"Yes, we did miss you, Bella," Esme's smile was genuine and warm. She came forward and wrapped me in her arms in a cool embrace.

"I'm sorry….for everything," I mumbled awkwardly as Esme released me.

"You have nothing to be sorry for, Bella," Carlisle's voice was apologetic. "It is us who must apologize to you for Rosalie's extremely poor behavior. She was not raised to act that way." My eyes clouded with guilt and he smiled in reassurance. "Please do not take this personally, this wouldn't be the first time Rosalie let her anger and jealousy get the best of her. We are confident Emmett will be able to bring her around. Not to worry, Bella, we will be a family again, in time."

He looked to Edward and then to Jasper and Rosalie on the stairs and cleared his throat. "Well, I understand there is a big day of wedding planning in front of you all so Esme and I will leave you to it." He took Esme's hand and guided her up the stairs. We all watched as they disappeared down the hallway, Esme's. "Have fun," trailing behind them.

Skipping over to me and grabbing my hands, Alice dragged me to the couch and pulled me down next to her on the wide, beige cushion. Jasper wedged himself next to Alice and Edward came to sit behind me on the arm rest placing a cool hand on the nape of my neck.

She clapped her hands in delight and smiled widely. "There is so much to do! Aren't you excited, Bella?"

Edward gently ran his thumb up and down my neck as I let the air escape my lungs in a long, drawn out sound. I tried to smile brightly. "Of course I am, Alice. Show me what you have."

"Yay!" she squealed and ran up the stairs. Before I could blink, she was back on the couch holding a small box, a binder and the same color swatches she had shown me a few days earlier.

She placed the box on the floor at her feet and started to spread the contents of the binder over the surface of the coffee table in front of us. She started rattling off ideas so fast I could barely follow. Edward's steady hand on my neck kept me grounded and Jasper's special gift ensured I didn't get too overwhelmed.

"So this is the design I was thinking about for the bridesmaid dresses." She pointed to a slinky number that would look fantastic on her petite frame.

"It's lovely, Alice," I smiled at her. "It'll look great on you."

"Excellent!" She suddenly had a pad of paper on her lap and a pen in her hand. If it wasn't for the faint shift in the air beside me, I wouldn't have known she had even left to go to the kitchen.

"So, how many dresses am I ordering?" She laughed her high-pitched laugh. "I mean, I already know I have to order mine but who else is in the wedding party? I'll need measurements before they're ordered and we don't have very much time. It will take least…….." I tuned out her babbling as guilt washed over me and tears started to well in my eyes.

"Alice," Jasper said softly. I could feel him assert control over my emotions trying to dispel the panic building inside me. "Maybe this can wait until some other time." He was staring at her pointedly and I threw him a grateful look.

On a roll, she failed to notice his obvious intimation saying, "The dresses can't wait, Jasper. We're on a time line here." She turned to me, pen at the ready and saw the tears in my eyes. "Bella!" she cried. "What's wrong?" She looked at Edward with confusion.

He gave her a small smile. In a low voice he said, "I think Bella was going to ask Rosalie to stand for her." I nodded numbly and felt Edward's hand squeeze my neck gently.

"Oh," Alice whispered apologetically. "Of course you were, Bella. I'm so sorry." She put her thin arms around me and put her head on my shoulder. She spoke after a moment, saying, "I know Rosalie's measurements, so why don't I order one for her just in case? I'm sure Emmett will bring her home by then."

I nodded again and she released me to jot something down on the pad of paper. "Anyone else?" she asked brightly. I hesitated and shook my head slowly knowing the only other person I would want beside me that day probably wouldn't even come to the wedding.

She snatched up the swatches and flipped to the linen periwinkle one I had chosen the other day and held it out to Edward. "What do you think of that one, Edward? Bella said it was her favorite."

I glanced up at Edward and for the first time since I'd known him, he looked… embarrassed. Clearing his throat he spoke quickly. "I'm pretty sure I just heard Carlisle and Esme calling. Jasper, I think they're calling you too. Do you hear that?"

Jasper grinned knowingly at his brother and quickly started for the stairs. "Yes, I'm sure there is a vitally important task that they need us to do…right now."

They bolted up the stairs as Alice threw a wad of paper she had ripped out of the pad. Her aim was deadly accurate as the paper ball smacked Edward in the side of the head. I could hear him laughing as he and Jasper headed down the hallway leaving me alone with Alice.

I sucked in a deep breath and resigned myself to hours of planning. "What else do you have to show me, Alice?" I smiled as convincingly as I could and shuffled some of the paper on the coffee table.

She grinned and started pulling out pictures clipped from magazines and sketches she had drawn herself. She prattled on about decorations and caterers and with each passing word my apprehension grew as I realized Edward had not discussed toning things down with her.

Finally, I put my warm hand over her cold one and turned to face her. "Alice," I started, cutting her off. "We need to talk."

She looked at me knowingly and said, "I was hoping you would have forgotten about that."

Of course she had seen this in her visions. "I'm afraid not." My lips pursed in a thin line. "And," I continued, "Renee and Charlie talked last night and they want to pay for half the wedding, which means we _really_ have to tone things down because they can't afford……this." I swept my arms above the coffee table in an exaggerated motion.

She glanced at me and laughed filling the room with the sound of wind chimes. "There is no need to concern your parents with that, Bella. It's all taken care of."

"I insist."

She rolled her eyes and sighed. "Let's compromise then. Your parents can pay for whatever they can and we'll cover the rest. Renee and Charlie won't know the difference and you and Edward get the wedding you deserve!" Her smug smile was infuriating. The Cullen trait of always thinking they know what's best for me was very irritating.

I leveled a glare at her and clenched my teeth. "My parents aren't _stupid_, Alice. This is supposed to be their happiest memory of me before I rip myself from their lives. It is all I can do for them and I will _not_ have that clouded by making them feel inadequate." She looked at me in shock.

Recovering quickly, she cleared her throat and gave me a small, apologetic smile. "I - I'm sorry, Bella. You are right, of course." She gathered up a few of the pages from the coffee table and I sighed feeling guilty for being so harsh and spoiling her fun.

"I'll tell you what, Alice. If Edward and I ever do this again, it's all yours. I won't say a word, you can do whatever you want." I smiled at her hopefully.

"That's a big if," she sniffed knowing full well I had no intention of marrying Edward more than once.

I smiled slyly. "True. But you'll have an eternity to convince me and eventually, you might wear me down." I highly doubted that.

A grin slowly broke across her face and she laughed. "Alright," she said coyly. "And next time you'll have no excuses!" She suddenly closed her eyes, concentrating, then quickly opened them to peer at me smugly. "And there _will_ be a next time."

I laughed incredulously at the knowing look she gave me and doubted my own resolve. It wasn't smart to second-guess a clairvoyant pixie vampire.

Taking a deep breath and wanting this to be over as soon as possible, I refocused on the planning. "Okay," I breathed. "Let's pull back the reins and tone down this monster! I was thinking that we could make the invitations ourselves – it seems all the rage these days." I was confused by the sudden guilt that made her look away.

"What's wrong, Alice?" She turned her face toward me with a very small, but hopeful smile. I knew that look. "What have you done, Alice?" my voice echoing my inner cringe.

"It was Edward's idea," she squeaked. "I didn't know this was going to happen, I swear. I ordered them just after you said I could plan everything…."

"Ordered what?"

"The invitations." She picked up the box and caressed it lovingly with her finger tips. "Would you like to see?"

"We've only been engaged," I choked out the word, "for a few days. How did you get them so fast?"

"Let's just say we know people," she smiled brightly. "And overnight shipping was a wonderful invention!"

Exasperated, I held out my hand already deciding I didn't like them. She slid the robin's egg blue envelop into my palm. The heavy paper felt both fragile and silky against my skin as I flipped it over.

I pulled out the contents and carefully removed the tissue covering the invitation and gasped as I saw the familiar, delicate script. Gingerly running my fingertips over the silver indentations, I whispered, "Is that….Edward's handwriting? But how?"

I felt her wide smile beside me as she silently clapped her hands in glee. "Yes, They're custom. Edward wrote out the invitation and had the letter-press company duplicate it exactly. He wanted to surprise you……do you like them?"

I single tear slid down my cheek and I brush it away quickly so it could not drip and mar the perfection cradled in my hands. I couldn't speak but I nodded once unable to tear my eyes from the words.

It all became so clear, final and….right. An epiphany. As I read, my heart filled with joy. I was his bride. I would be his and he would be mine, forever. My hand flew to my throat in reflex as my breath caught. I read our names together in the middle of the paper and I suddenly wanted it more than anything.

Mr. Charlie Swan, and Mr. and Mrs. Phillip and Renee Dwyer,

Request the honor of your presence

At the wedding of their only child

Isabella Marie

To

Mr. Edward Anthony Masen Cullen

Son of Mr. and Mrs. Carlisle and Esme Cullen

On Saturday, August 7, Two Thousand and Ten

At 3:30 in the afternoon

Cullen Estate

337195 Highway 101

Forks, Washington

Reception to follow No gifts please

I read and re-read the words over and over in my head letting my mind wrap around each one in turn. My whole body tingled as my eyes locked on our names and I put mine with his. My voice was barely a sigh as my lips caressed the most beautiful sound I'd ever made, "Bella Cullen."

I felt Alice's giddy pleasure beside me and I blushed violently knowing she had heard me.

"I'm so happy for you, Bella!" she chimed.

I offered her a distracted smile and tucked the invitation back into the envelop. She held out her hand to take it and I surrendered it with reluctance, not wanting to let go of this small, inanimate piece of Edward. I glanced at the box as she opened it and gasped in horror at the sheer number of envelops.

"Alice!" My tone was shocked. "How many did you order? There's a least a three hundred in there!"

She winced and quickly closed the box. In a small voice she squeaked, "I wasn't sure how many people were going to be invited so I played it safe and ordered four hundred."

I could feel the crimson reach my ears as anger and disbelief filled my mind. "Four – four hundred?" My mouth gaped open. "Absolutely…… Never in a million…… You must be……..Ugh! You, Alice Cullen, are impossible!"

She slid away from me on the couch and stood, eyeing me warily. "That's right! You'd better run!" I warned her. "Edward and I don't even _know_ four hundred people! And, besides the Denali coven, it's not like you can invite your vampire friends. Not unless you want the human guests to be the main course!"

She suddenly laughed, the twinkling notes falling deaf on my ears as I glared at her. "It doesn't mean we have to invite four hundred people you know!" she smiled.

I took a deep breath to calm myself and considered her logic. I peered at her and stiffly asked, "How many were you thinking?"

She gracefully repositioned herself beside me and grabbed the pen and pad of paper again. "Well," she reasoned. "There's the obvious…."

We sat for a while working out the list that included family, friends and our parents' colleagues. As Alice was counting the numbers so far, Edward suddenly appeared and set a plate of spaghetti on the table in front of me.

I looked up at him and couldn't keep the smile from my face. I loved him so much it hurt and I felt tears of joy welling in my eyes.

"What?" he was confused by my strange reaction to him.

I stood and wrapped my arms around his neck, burying my face into his cold, hard chest. "I love you, Edward" I murmured against him and felt his arms embrace me.

He chuckled. "This is the reaction I get just for bringing you food?"

I laughed quietly and lifted my head to look at him. "Thank you." It was all I could say. He looked at me, confusion clear on his face and glanced quickly at Alice. Understanding crept into his eyes as she likely replayed the last hour for him and he smiled widely.

"You like them?"

I nodded and the tears fell. He gently wiped them with a fingertip and I took a deep shuddering breath. Willing him to see the depth of my conviction in my eyes, I whispered, "I can't wait to marry you. I want it more than anything. I can't wait to be B-"

"Bella Cullen."

The sound was even more exquisite coming from him. His velvet timbre lent a magical, almost surreal edge to it and the rest of the world faded away. I don't now how long we stood there staring into each other's eyes, but it took all of my will-power to acknowledge the loud, obvious, throat-clearing noises coming from the couch.

"Yes, Alice?" I refused to tear my gaze away from Edward.

"Not to interrupt but we need to get this list finalized. The invitations need to be sent and we don't have much time left." We both sighed and glared at her and she looked up at us coyly. "You'll have an eternity to canoodle in a few weeks, now let's get this done!"

Edward impatiently held out his hand for the list and scanned it quickly. I flopped down on the couch next to Alice and picked up the plate of food. The sauce was tangy and had a distinct berry flavor.

"This is delicious, Edward! For a guy who eats oversized rats, you sure can cook!"

We exchanged smiles as Alice glanced between us in confusion. At vampire speed, Edward told her about our inside joke and she giggled, "Raccoons. That is funny."

I looked up at Edward. He grimaced as he scanned the list again. "What's wrong?" I asked, swallowing another bite. "Did we miss someone?"

"None of the pack are on here."

I glanced quickly to my plate feeling the flush moving up my throat. "I – I still haven't decided if we should invite them."

"I think we should."

I glanced up at him and took in his serious expression. "Why?"

"Well," he started. "From the Treaty perspective I think it would be wise to offer the olive branch. From my perspective," he suddenly grinned, "I already promised Seth. And from your perspective," his face serious again, "you would regret not inviting your best friend."

I gulped realizing how naked I was to Edward. Even without being able to read my mind, he knew me better then anyone – except maybe Jake.

When I hesitated, Edward was on his knees beside me taking my hand in his. "Trust me on this, Bella. You only have one chance to do this right." I marveled at how his words echoed those I had thought the night we told Charlie we were engaged. It was true, of course. He was right. He was always right.

I sighed and gave in. "I know," I smiled faintly as I played with the fork in my free hand. "But I want to give it to him in person….ask him myself." I looked down at my plate again. "There's something else I'd like to talk to him about anyway," I mumbled.

I stole a guilty glance at Edward from under my lashes but he caught me, staring at me intently. "It's okay, Bella. Honestly I expected you to bring this up sooner. I'm fine with it. Really." He smiled. "I just want you to be happy."

I narrowed my eyes warily. "Are you sure you can't read my mind?"

He chuckled, "No, but I can read your face like a book." He squeezed my hand.

Alice quickly added the pack to her list and made a side note in big block letters: ORDER TUX FOR JACOB BLACK. "Okay," she breathed. "I'll just finalize this with Carlisle, Esme and Charlie. And, Bella, can you ask Renee if we've missed anyone?" I nodded.

"Then we are done here," she smiled suddenly pulling me into a tight quick embrace. "Now go!" She took the plate off my lap and playfully waved us off with her hands. "Go canoodle or test theories or whatever you call it!"

My jaw dropped and I stared at her stunned, my mouth agape. "Thanks, Alice," Edward muttered through clenched teeth.

"Oops!" A dainty hand flew to cover her mouth and she smiled sheepishly at me. Recovering, I waved it off casually. Lack of privacy is something I knew I would have to get used to living in a house of vampires. Somewhere in the back of my mind I knew Alice would see Edward and I being intimate and I considered that Jasper could probably feel it, even long after, but it still shocked me when I confronted it directly.

"Cullens have no secrets, right?" I smiled at them both.

"That's right." Alice smiled brightly and sighed, "Bella Cullen." Her voice added musical tones to the sound. "I like it."

"Me too," Edward agreed as he pulled me to my feet and started guiding me to the stairs. Leaning close to my ear he whispered, "I can't wait either."

A shiver ran up my spine as I felt his hand dance across my back. My pulse quickened, my breathing became suddenly ragged and I heard a quiet moan escape his lips. Our eyes locked and he grabbed me, folding me against his chest. He rushed the rest of way heading for his bedroom at the end of the hall. Just as he was about to close the door, we heard Esme's amused voice calling, "Don't keep her out too late, Edward. We don't want Charlie to worry."

I heard Jasper's low chuckle as Edward slammed the door muttering about lack of privacy and stupid vampire senses.

"We do have an eternity you know," I smiled. He scowled in frustration and I laughed as he gently lowered me to his bed and laid beside me.

Staring into his eyes, I couldn't imagine anything more perfect then this moment.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6 – Revelations

I hated that time between being dropped off by Edward, and seeing him again after Charlie went to bed. I knew the pretense was unavoidable but it didn't make it any more appealing. Charlie had to believe that my relationship with Edward was normal to a fault: boy meets girl, they fall in love and spend time together, boy drops girl off at reasonable hour, boy goes home. It was laughable how much different a picture we painted: vampire meets girl, vampire wants to kill girl, they fall in love and spend time together, vampire drops off girl at reasonable hour only to sneak in girl's window to spend the night. It was a cherished ritual that I relied on every second Edward and I were apart.

I often wondered what Charlie would think if he walked into my room in the middle of the night. Edward would be wide awake laying in my bed next to me, his arms around my bulky, comforter-wrapped frame with my head on his chest sleeping peacefully. I'm sure Charlie would go ballistic. Not that it could ever happen. Edward would hear him coming from a mile away. But the thought was still enough to keep Edward away until Charlie was snoring.

Night after night, the same pattern was relived, over and over and that night was no different. Not finding the privacy we both craved at the Cullen Estate, Edward drove me home in time to make Charlie some dinner. Not wanting to raise suspicion, Edward never stayed for any meal with my father so I had hours before I would see him again and the prospects for the evening looked bleak.

Jacob's father, Billy Black, was Charlie's best friend. He was coming over to watch some big game and I wondered nervously if Jacob would be the one to drive him. Our last conversation had been extremely painful for us both and he hadn't called me since. I was giving him the space he needed to deal with everything that had happened. I loved Jacob and could easily have made a life with him but my connection to Edward was just too strong. _He_ was the man I couldn't live without and so Jacob gracefully let me go. The more I thought about it though, I realized that maybe I needed space too; maybe even more than he did.

The guilt I felt over rejecting Jacob was overwhelming. In my rational brain I couldn't understand why I fought so hard against my feelings for him. I felt ashamed that I had used him for all of those months after Edward had left me but Jacob's had made the hole in my soul bearable and had given me a reason to keep living when I all I wanted to do was die. But I had convinced myself that my love for him was that of a sister to a brother; he knew differently. He could see me falling in love with him even when I was blinded to it. When clarity finally found me the day Victoria's army attacked, it made so much sense and I saw the life that Jacob and I could share: a family, children, a loving home and a bright future. I wanted that life with all of my heart but I knew I would never take it. No matter how much my heart ached for it, my love, my need, my want for Edward was infinitely more intense.

I heard a vehicle turn the corner of the street and ran to the window to see who it was. My heart was pounding as I pulled aside the flimsy drapes and pressed my cheek against the hard, cold glass to see as far down the street as possible. If Jake was coming, I'd have to prepare myself.

Spotting Sam's truck, I let out the breath that I had been unconsciously holding in a low groan. Sam Uley was Alpha to the wolf pack and through the pack consciousness, would know what had happened between Jake and me. The wolves consciousness is one when they phase; all thoughts, feeling and memories are shared and there is no blocking them. They can't be filtered or hidden and so, through Jacob's mind, Sam would know everything. Sam was a big brother to his pack siblings and was fiercely protective. He would have felt how much I had hurt Jacob and with Edward being the reason for it, Sam's recent concession to the Cullens may be short-lived.

He had agreed to let Carlisle tend to Jacob's injuries in the days following the fight. Although the pack had helped the Cullens defeat Victoria and her newborns, one day of cooperation could not bridge the innate abhorrence Sam felt for the vampires. He was a werewolf _because_ of their presence and although his ancestors had made peace and struck a treaty with Carlisle decades before, Sam could not see his way to trusting them yet.

I worried, too, that Sam would know of my decision to be changed soon. Considering my changing would void the treaty, I wasn't sure how the truce between the pack and the Cullens would play out in the coming weeks. I dreaded the idea, but I knew I had to talk to Sam and try to secure the Cullens safety.

I sighed and joined Charlie in the driveway where he was helping Sam lower Billy into his wheelchair. They were chatting about the game that was on and Charlie offered Sam a spot on the couch.

"No, I have to get back," Sam said distractedly, giving me a quick glance. "Thanks though."

Charlie started to wheel Billy up to the house as Sam hurriedly rounded the front of his truck heading for the driver's side door.

"Sam, wait!" I called. He yanked the door opened and looked at me across the hood of the truck. "Can we talk for a minute?"

"Bella, I…" he stammered. "I really should be getting back." He glanced at the house and lowered his voice just a bit. "The pack needs me."

"It'll just take a few minutes," I persuaded. "I promise?"

He stood swaying back and forth, seeming to fight a mental war in his head. Finally he slammed the truck door and came back around to stand in front of me. "Look, Bella. Jake is fine, at least he will be," he said flatly, running a brisk hand though his short black hair. I was sure that Sam hated me for what I had done to Jacob and I knew I deserved his brusqueness.

"How is his leg? How is it healing?" I could barely even look Sam in the face.

"Quickly." I looked away, not wanting him to know how deeply his unspoken words about Jacob's other pain affected me.

He sighed. "Do you want to walk with me, Bella?" The harshness in his voice ebbed and when I looked up, there was kindness in his eyes.

"Um, sure," I said, trying to hide my surprise.

He lead me to the back yard and out onto a well-worn path through the woods. We trudged on for several minutes, walking single-file along the narrow route. It gradually widened enough for two people to walk side-by-side and he stopped and turned, waiting for me to catch up.

As we walked, I wracked my brain trying to work out what I wanted to say but came up blank. We had gone a few more paces before he cleared his throat to speak. "Bella, I know you feel guilty for what Jake is going through but you need to stop. It's not your fault."

My mouth gaped as I stared at Sam, unable to believe the words he has spoken. He, of all people, should know that there was no one else to blame but me! He felt Jacob's pain as raw and real as if it were his own and he must have hated me for it.

Too busy staring at Sam to see the tree root sticking above the ground, I tripped and was falling forward. I felt Sam's strong grip under my elbows holding me steady and righting my bent frame.

"You really do need to be more careful, Bella." He grinned. "That big Cullen was right when he said keeping you safe was a full-time job!"

I cringed inwardly. Emmett was always making fun of me…….and I missed him terribly.

As we started forward again, I carefully picked my way over the uneven ground. "Anyway," Sam continued, "Jacob wants me to stay out of it but I can't let you feel guilty forever; I know what it can do to a person." A look of complete confusion was plastered on my face and he smiled. "Can't you see that I have a rather unique perspective on this situation? I assume you know my story with Emily?"

I nodded, bewildered, wondering where this was going to lead.

"Let's start at the beginning." He took a deep breath. "Bella, I loved Leah with all of my heart. We had planned a life together; marriage, kids, the whole works! Then Emily came to La Push and it all changed. Even as I knew it would break Leah's heart, after I imprinted I knew I had to be with Emily. Life had no meaning without her and though I still loved Leah, I had to let her go." His sigh was long and heart wrenching.

"Emily is my life, like Edward is yours. Though I wish you had chosen someone other than an over grown mosquito, I do understand where you are coming from. You love Jake, I still love Leah, but it's simply not enough."

I glanced up at Sam and saw the love and pain flickering across his face as he spoke. Looking at his life through the filter of his eyes, I could draw the parallels of his relationship with Leah and Emily to mine with Jacob and Edward. And although what he said was difficult, it was true and I felt a bit better knowing that I wasn't alone.

He stopped and turned to me, placing his big hand on my shoulder. "What I'm trying to say is that I think what you have with Cullen is a lot like our imprinting. It just happens and there's no choice, there's no going back. You have to be with that person or you…. cease to exist."

I found myself nodding, and as his words sunk in, tears sprung to my eyes. My head was a jumble of emotions as I flipped through the memories of the last couple of years. The pain my choices have caused haunted my dreams and tainted my love for Edward and Sam must have seen it in my eyes.

He squeezed my shoulder and quietly said, "You _can't_ feel guilty for that, Bella. After I stopped fighting the inevitable, I carried incredible guilt for hurting Leah. I blamed myself for everything and thought I should be strong enough to make my own choices. I know Leah still struggles with her pain and anger; I feel it every day and I truly wish she could find peace." He sighed. "But I can't let myself feel guilty anymore. I let it almost destroy me once and I will never allow that to happen again." He dropped his hand from my shoulder and looked down at the ground. "It gnawed at me and gnawed at me until I snapped. Emily and I were fighting about it when….." He swallowed loudly. "Maybe if I had dealt with it better, I would have had more control or maybe I would've noticed that Emily was too close and I wouldn't have….."

My thoughts immediately went to the scar on Emily's face, the scar Sam left when he lost control and phased when she was standing a little too close. I gasped and covered my mouth with my hand as I realized what he was saying.

He drew his eyes up to meet mine and nodded slightly. "You have to figure out how to let it go, Bella, otherwise it will eat you alive." His whispered words and dark eyes flashed with intimate understanding. "If you are going to find happiness in this life, you need to leave the guilt behind."

A single tear slipped out and trickled down my cheek. "B-but Jacob is hurting so much." I sniffed and reached up with my hand to wipe the tear away. "How can I not feel guilty?"

"I can't tell you how, Bella, I can only tell you that you have to." He gave me a weak smile. "As for Jacob, he will move on, eventually. And should he ever imprint, no one will have a better understanding of you than he will. Give him time, he will adjust."

I had never seen this side of Sam before. He was always Alpha, tough and unyielding and there he was, baring his soul to me – the fiancé of his enemy. I knew the pack thought of me as a sister, but I was constantly worried that my association with Edward's family had weakened the treaty.

But as I stood there considering his words, I suddenly wondered if maybe my relationship with Edward had had the opposite effect than I had thought. Perhaps I had misread Sam's mistrust and maybe, the treaty was made stronger _because_ of me.

"What are you thinking?" he asked, his voice echoing the confusion that must be on my face.

I shook my head lightly as if to clear it and glanced back at him. "I never really thought of it that way. Thank you, Sam. You've really given me something to think about." I smiled at him.

He smiled back, nodded and turned toward home.

"Wait, Sam," I started. "There's something else I wanted to talk to you about."

He stopped and turned to me expectantly, still smiling. "Sure, Bella."

I took a tentative step forward and shyly looked away. "I….. I'm sure you know of my intentions with Edward."

"Yes, I heard you're getting married…… congratulations," he said guardedly.

"Thank you," I hesitated. "But I meant after the wedding. I'm sure Jacob has been keeping you up to speed on the….. timeline." I glanced at him and his face was grim, his mouth a firm line.

"Yes." His voice was stiff.

I took in a shuddering breath, searching for the strength to continue. "I…I am concerned about the effect my choice will have on the treaty, Sam. I don't want to be the reason both my families are at war."

He exhaled loudly and kicked a loose stone so hard I could hear it ricochet off a tree somewhere far out of sight. His fists were clenched at his side and his arms were shaking slightly in his bid for control. For the first time in Sam's presence, fear washed over me and I took a quick step back to be clear of him if he phased.

He snarled gruffly and leveled a glare at me. "You know I think of you like a sister, Bella. It's not _me_ you need to be to afraid of."

Ignoring his slight at the Cullens., I mumbled, "I know, Sam. I'm sorry."

He put his palms to his temple and closed his eyes as he roughly moved his hands in small circles. "Are you serious about this, Bella? Is there no way we can talk you out of it? Have you really thought this through? What it will do to Charlie?"

I sighed and pursed my lips. I was tired of having to explain myself over and over again to everybody. "Yes, I am serious. Yes, I have thought it through and no, there is no way I will change my mind. I want, no, I _need_ to be with Edward. You said you understood," I accused.

He ran his hands through his hair again and looked at me exasperated. "Yes, I understand, but there are limits, Bella. What you're talking about is suicide, you know that right? He has to _kill_ you to do it."

I couldn't keep the sarcastic smile from playing at the corners of my lips. "I think of it more like Edward is giving me eternal life."

"It's not funny, Bella!" his voice rising, was bitter and cold. "It's not something we can overlook! If you do this, you have to know that you are breaking the treaty." His voice was barely a whisper as he added, "You and the Cullens will never be able to come back here. You will all become our enemies, forever."

The tears were back and streaming down my face. "But it's my choice! It's not like Edward is breaking the treaty to feed, Sam!!," I pleaded.

"The treaty does not differentiate, Bella," his voice was firm and laced with fury.

I'd heard Jacob make that same argument and I didn't buy it. I glared at him though bleary eyes and stood my ground. "That's semantics, Sam, and you know it. Just because you find it repulsive doesn't mean that there is no middle ground here! What if it had been Emily? What if you had to change like that for her? What would you say then?" I demanded.

His eyes were steely in his resolve as he stared me down. "But that's not the case so there is no sense in debating the point." He tried to keep his voice even and controlled.

"That's a cope out, Sam." I spat at him. "After everything you just told me you're going to hide behind that? You're pathetic." His eyes narrowed and somewhere I knew I was overstepping but I didn't care, I was furious. "Maybe what Edward and I have is stronger then imprinting then because we would do _anything_ to be together, Sam. I am willing to die for him and I would have thought that you felt the same way about Emily. Okay, maybe my death won't be in some grand, heroic gesture, but it will secure my happiness and Edward's happiness for all eternity. You say that's stupid and selfish; I say it's brave and an incredibly loving sacrifice. Before now, I would have never questioned your love for Emily, Sam, but …….." I let my voice trail off and I realized I was so mad I was practically vibrating.

And I wasn't the only one. Sam was having a very hard time controlling his anger and his body writhed under the stress, threatening to phase. "Bella," his voice was full of warning, "Don't you _ever_ ……." He closed his eyes tightly and pressed his clenched fists to them hard. He took a few deep, steadying breaths and dropped his fists to level a glare at me. "Do this and the treaty is broken. The choice is yours."

He glanced quickly behind his right shoulder, turned back to me and spoke stiffly. "If you follow the trail behind me, you'll be out in 10 minutes. If you take longer than 15, I'll send Charlie in after you." He turned to go and hesitated. Not looking at me, the love in his voice was clear. "Please don't do this, Bella. I don't want to lose my sister. None of us do." With that, he was off in a blur of ripped clothes and phasing skin and fur. I caught his black tail flowing out behind him as he darted around a tree and was gone.

I stood for a moment, completely stunned, trying unsuccessfully to catalogue everything that had happened. I ran my shaky hands down my face then forced my feet to start moving. If I hesitated any longer, I was sure Alice would see me and panic, sending Edward to my rescue. I shook my head purposefully, hoping she would get the message and started to trudge back to the house.

As I emerged from the woods behind Charlie's, I heard the engine of Sam's truck turn over and the squeal of tires as he accelerated down the street. I sighed a heavy sigh and headed for the house. I was grateful that Charlie and Billy would be otherwise occupied for the night – I needed some time to sift through my revelations from my conversation with Sam and the consequences of my choice.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7 – Privacy

It was just before midnight when I felt Edward's cool fingers brush aside a stray lock of hair that had fallen across my sleeping face. I found that I didn't sleep well anymore until he was lying beside me, his arms firmly around my waist. I snuggled up against his rock hard body and sighed contentedly as he kissed my cheek.

"You're late," I mumbled jokingly.

"Charlie's game went into over-time then he drove Billy home. He only fell asleep about 5 minute ago," he whispered.

"Mmmm. How was your evening?" I asked, pulling his hand up to my lips to kiss it.

"Lonely. Yours? Alice couldn't see you for awhile, does that mean you've made up with Jacob?" He kept his voice even though I heard notes of sadness coloring the velvet texture. As much as Edward disliked Jacob for uncounted reasons, he sympathized with Jacob's turmoil.

"No," I murmured sleepily. "I was with Sam." I could hear Edward's unspoken question in the air and continued. "Basically, I was trying to get him to change the terms of the treaty but he wouldn't budge." I yawned and pulled his arm tighter around my waist. "It was an interesting conversation though….."

I felt Edward's lips on my cheek again as his sweet breath tickled my skin. "Rest now, love. We can talk in the morning."

Though my mind hesitated with some forgotten plan I had with Edward for tonight, my exhausted body gratefully succumbed to his wishes.

Before my eyes were even open, I knew it was raining. I could hear it pelting the side of the house, slapping noisily against my window. The light I could see behind my closed lids told me it was later then usual and I absentmindedly felt for Edward's arm at my waist.

My eyes flew open in panic when it wasn't there and I turned over so quickly, I almost fell out of bed. Surveying my room and realizing he was nowhere in sight, I stood and struggled to get out of the comforter that was tightly wrapped around me like thread on a spool. Pushing and pulling against the fabric, I could feel the heat in my cheeks as I imagined how ridiculous I looked spinning in place trying to unwind myself.

With a huff and some exasperated muttering, I finally freed myself and roughly threw the comforter on the bed. I turned to the door to find Edward leaning against the frame watching me intently, an amused smile on his beautiful face.

My breath caught in my throat as I drank in every magnificent inch of him. Suddenly I remembered the plan we had last night and glaring, silently cursed myself for being so tired – it was so _human_ of me. I wanted nothing more than to explore his marble body, to unlock the secrets of his desire and finally show him how much I loved him.

Doubt clouded his sculpted features and panic flickered in his eyes. "Are you mad at me?" he asked.

"Where have you been?" My voice was harsher then I had intended and I looked at the floor in embarrassment. In a low, apologetic tone, I said, "I'm sorry, I'm just mad at myself for being human. I shouldn't take it out on you."

"What?" I glanced up at his confusion and saw anger in his narrowed eyes. All traces of amusement gone, he crossed his arms over his chest and clenched his jaw. "That is something to cherish, Bella. Your humanity is not a toy that you toss away on a whim whenever you're mad."

I could see his assumption leading him in the completely wrong direction and quickly crossed the room to put my hands on his rigid arms. I needed to explain before we had _that_ argument again for the billionth time.

Placating, I looked into his fiery eyes. "That's not it," I said. "I was mad at myself because I just remembered what…..what we were planning on doing last night and I fell asleep." I looked down at the floor and silently cursed myself again. "I'm sorry, Edward," I mumbled.

He uncrossed his arms and lifted my hands, clasping them behind his neck. He encircled my waist and pulled me gently against his body. Chuckling, he looked down at me and smiled. "Bella, we have an eternity for that, remember? There's no rush. I'm as impatient as you are but you need your rest. Besides," he lowered his lips to my ear. "Maybe it's better when Charlie is at work. We don't have to worry about how loud we are."

A shiver ran up my spine and I gasped. My fingers plunged into his soft, bronze hair as I remembered how difficult it had been to stay quiet; how much I had wanted to cry out his name. I felt his lips on my neck and clenched my hands, grabbing fistfuls of his hair. I pressed against him, instinctively pushing my pelvis into his and he moaned.

I dropped my hands to his chest and started fumbling with the buttons on his shirt. I had managed to undo one when I heard him chuckle and felt his strong fingers encircle my thin wrists. He pulled away and stared into my eyes. His were the color of melted caramel flecked with dark tinges of the passion I felt echoing in my own body. He smiled coyly and in a throaty whisper said, "Patience, love. You need to eat first. Your breakfast is on the table."

I sighed, annoyed at the frailty of my human condition and looked at him longingly. "I'm not hungry……for food."

He put my hand in his and started to pull me to the stairs. "I insist," he said. When he met the resistance of my unmoving frame, he smiled that crooked smile he knew I could never deny. "Humor me." I scowled at him and let him pull me down the stairs and into the kitchen.

On the table was enough food to feed a battalion of soldiers and my eyes grew wide trying to take it all in. Edward grinned at me sheepishly and said, "I've never been here for a real breakfast before so I wasn't sure what you liked and I wanted you to have something more than cold cereal."

He grabbed me a plate from the cupboard as I numbly sat down at the table still amazed at the vast amount of food. There were 5 different kinds of eggs, 3 types of pancakes, back bacon, regular bacon and turkey bacon, frozen and fresh hash browns, orange juice, apple juice and grapefruit juice. The buffet never seemed to end.

I helped myself to a couple of pancakes and a slice of bacon. He poured me a glass of the apple juice I had pointed at and sat down in a chair beside me.

"I'm never going to be able to eat all of this food, Edward." I smiled at him and laughed, "I didn't know we had this much food in the house in the first place!"

He grinned again. "I went out this morning while you were still asleep."

"Of course," I grinned back.

Since he knew how much I hated it when he watched me eat, Edward distracted himself by reading the paper. I ate as much food as I could so he wouldn't feel bad and then pushed my chair away from the table. Getting up, I started collecting my plate and some of the uneaten food when he smoothly took to dishes from me giving me a disapproving look as he placed them on the counter beside the sink.

"What?" I asked innocently.

"You go do your human thing, I'll clean up," he replied brightly.

"Edward," I admonished, "This mess will take hours to clean, let me help."

"What takes you hours will take me mere minutes." He put his hands on my shoulders and gently turned me around to face the stairs. He pushed me forward and whispered, "Go!"

Knowing the futility of arguing with Edward, I glanced back at him cleaning the kitchen at vampire speed. I smiled to myself and went upstairs to take a shower.

My showering routine complete, I emerged from the bathroom towel-drying my damp hair. Edward was sitting cross-legged on my bed thumbing through one of my books. I had dried my hair as much as I could and finished putting my toiletries away when Edward let the book drop to the floor and patted a spot opposite him on the bed.

I gave him a sideways glance as I climbed on the bed to sit cross-legged in front of him. This was bizarre behavior from my very predictable vampire fiancé.

"Any plans today? With Alice maybe?" he asked. His topaz eyes held no hint of an ulterior motive.

"No," I replied slowly, my tone guarded. "She made some appointments for later this week but nothing for today…….why?"

"Just curious. Jasper and I are meeting up with Seth and Colin at the baseball clearing for some technique practice. I was just wondering if you would like to come and watch?"

I sighed knowing technique practice meant play fighting with werewolves. I wasn't concerned about Edward and Jasper, it was Colin and Seth I was worried about. They were so young. Seth was fifteen and Colin just thirteen and I felt badly that they were thrust into this mythical world at all.

Edward watched me carefully, gauging my reaction. "Think of it like they are learning to better protect themselves from rogue vampires. A self-defense class, so to speak." He grinned at me. He was devastatingly handsome and I felt my apprehension crumbling as he dazzled me again. I knew he cared about the two wolves, especially Seth, and he would never let anything bad happen to them.

The air in my lungs came out in a long wavering breath and I finally agreed. "Okay, but nothing too violent, I don't want to be picking dog fur out of your hair all day!"

"Yes, ma'am!" He grinned again as he reached out and put his hand on my knees. His simple touch ignited the fire of my desire and my breath caught in my chest. "Now, come here," he growled.

Before I knew what was happening, I was sitting in Edward's lap, our faces just inches apart. He wrapped my legs around his torso then encircled my waist with his arms.

My breathing became ragged and I could smell the sweetness of his breath. The heat from my body made his feel colder and I shivered in spite of myself. He went to reach for a blanket but I cut him off. "I'm not shivering because I'm cold," I said in a low, husky voice. The desire I felt was echoed in his darkening eyes and he leaned in to kiss me.

His lips were hard as they brushed mine, my hands clutched at his neck. Our tongues met in an explosion of fire and ice as our kiss deepened. He pressed the small of my back closer to him and I entwined my fingers in his hair. He brought a hand to the back of my neck and brushed my hair from my shoulder as he kissed his way down to my collar bone. Tracing the hollow with his tongue I let out a gasp and pushed myself up against his mouth.

Suddenly his hands were under my shirt exploring my lower back with light touches and I moaned softly as his fingers danced across my skin. I could feel my heart racing and he put his head on my chest to listen. I wrapped my arms around him, cradling him against me as my breathing quickened with every touch on my back.

With a throaty groan, he pulled away and found my mouth with his, devouring me. His hands traced up my sides and I wriggled slightly at the tickly sensation. He continued to move up my back and stiffened slightly as his fingers tripped over the clasp of my bra.

I giggled, embarrassed, and pulled away as the blood rushed up my throat and into my cheeks. "Sorry," I smiled. Sitting up, I slipped my hands under the back of my shirt and unclasped my bra. Shoving my hand up one sleeve, I pulled my arm out of the shoulder strap and repeated the action on the other side. Finally, I reached my hand under the front of my shirt and yanked the bra out, dropping it on the floor beside the bed. "There," I panted, staring in his fiery black eyes as I leaned in to kiss him again.

A snarl twisted in his throat as his hands resumed exploring my back unheeded. I trailed kisses across his cheek to his ear and sucked it into my mouth. I felt his fingers dig into the flesh on my shoulders and I moaned. His hands were suddenly on my stomach, inching their way up and I could feel him shaking under me, trying to maintain control. I didn't move as he fought his internal battle and I relaxed only when his hands started to move up my stomach again.

His fingertips brushed lightly against the undersides of my breasts and we both gasped. I felt his hands shake again and waited for the monster in him to be tamed. By now, Edward was a master at controlling his urge to kill me, but I knew the line between lust and bloodlust became very blurred whenever we were intimate and though sometimes I couldn't help myself, I tried not to push him.

I waited patiently and could feel his jaw clenching, his hands in tight fists against my belly. Finally, I felt his head drop to my shoulder as his fingers traced the outline of my breasts. I wrapped one arm around his neck and plunged my fingers into his hair. I buried my face in his shoulder and a loud moan escaped my lips as he cupped each breast in his palms. He gasped as my nipples hardened against his cold skin. I clenched my hands into little fists and groaned, "Edward."

A low growl ripped through his chest and he started tracing concentric circles around each breast, working his way inward. The closer he got to the center, the more labored my breathing became. As he traced circles around my areolas I dug my fingers deep into his back. I felt him hesitate just before he ran the tips of his thumbs over my nipples.

I involuntarily scratched my fingernails across his back as fireworks went off in my brain. The sensation was the most exquisite thing I had ever felt and my whole body bucked with the pleasure of it. My back arched, pushing against his touch, begging for more. I buried my head deeper into his shoulder, panting, the hand at his neck clutching fistfuls of hair. Somewhere it registered that I was whimpering.

Feeling his hands drop away, I begged him between deep breaths, "Please….don't stop."

"But I'm hurting you, Bella," Edward mumbled in a low voice.

I vehemently shook my head against his shoulder, grabbed one of his hands and shoved it back up my shirt. "Oh." He sounded somewhat surprised, the word spoken in a higher octave than it should have been.

I lifted my head off his shoulder and hungrily searched for his mouth with mine. As I felt his fingers brush lightly against my breasts again, he caught my gasp in his kiss. I heard him moan as I moved my mouth roughly over his, trying to show him with my tongue what I wanted so badly to show him with my body.

His thumbs flicked across my nipples again and my body convulsed violently. I gasped for breath as I felt his lips sucking and kissing down my throat. He gently took my nipples between his thumbs and forefingers and pressed lightly. My body rocked with pleasure as I cried out his name. It was like every nerve ending in my body was concentrating on those two spots. I saw fireworks behind my closed eyes and my mind swirled with the sweetness of his scent.

Arching my back to get closer to his touch I placed a hand behind me clutching at something to anchor myself. I found Edward's knee and dug my fingers in to the fabric of his jeans.

"That feels good?" I could hear the smile on his lips as he spoke in lusty tones.

"Better," I gasped bringing my face close to his. I stared deeply into his onyx eyes trying to impart to him the depth of my pleasure. "It feels incredible."

A snarl ripped from his lips and he covered my mouth with his again, kissing me hard and urgently. He mashed is hands against my breasts and I pressed against his touch. The scent of my arousal rolled over me and a loud groan rattled in Edward's chest. He pulled away and dropped his forehead to my shoulder. "You smell so…… delicious," he moaned.

A small, hysterical giggle escaped my lips as I vaguely thought of the irony. His hands began to trace circles on my breasts again and I clutched at his neck. When his fingers found my nipples, the explosions in my head were uncontrollable. I reached my free hand back searching for Edward's other knee and letting my head drop back, I arched my back as much as I could, pushing my chest further into his touch.

"Edward," I whimpered, "Oh God, Edward!"

He groaned again and I felt his hands drop away. Suddenly his palms were sliding up my sides gathering up my shirt as they went, exposing my bare skin. Filled with uncontrollable passion and lust, I brought my lips next to his ear and begged him in a hoarse whisper, "Make love to me, Edward. Please."

He started shaking under me and I could feel his hands wavering against my ribs. He had pulled my shirt up just under my breasts when he dropped his head onto my chest resting his forehead just below my collarbone.

I heard him swallow loudly, grinding his teeth as he clenched his jaw tightly. The shaking got worse and I made sure I didn't move a muscle, consciously slowing my breathing. His hands twisted and bunched my shirt as he scrunched his hands into tight fists. He slowly shook his head back and forth against my chest and I suddenly realized how bad this particular fight was. He was having a hard time suppressing the demon that threatened to consume him and, in turn, me. My heart ached for him but I was paralyzed to do anything.

The growl that was building in his chest was so intense it made me vibrate. It was mournful, full of anger and sadness and was getting louder. It was breaking my heart to watch him struggle so much and I gently placed my arms around his neck. Tears slid down my face as I kissed the top of his head and whispered, "It's okay, Edward. It'll be okay."

His hands dropped my shirt and I felt him punch the mattress beside us, causing it to heave and creak under the stress. I ran my hands up and down his back and I felt the strain slowly ease from his body. He wrapped his arms around my waist and clung to me. He shuddered as a strangled noise, something akin a sob, wrenched from his throat.

I kissed the top of his head again and I heard him mumble, "I'm sorry, Bella." Self-loathing and shame thickly coated each word and as I realized what those words meant; I could taste the anger in my mouth.

I pushed against his shoulders and he resisted, refusing even to lift his head to look at me. I shoved him, hard, and he relented, pulling away, staring to the side at something on the floor. I cupped his face in my hands and forced him to turn his head toward me. His eyes were still black with his lust for me but they were marred by the fire of the demon's bloodlust. The fury and self-hatred flickered as I stared at him wishing I could take away all of his pain.

"Don't do this, Edward," my voice was firm, my anger plain. "Don't you dare apologize. This is more than I thought was possible today so don't you dare take that away from us."

Confusion clouded his pale features as he reached up to brush away my stray tears. "But -."

"No!" I slid my hands down and clasped them behind his neck. "It's killing me to watch you try to push yourself. This isn't how it's supposed to be, Edward. I love you with every cell in my body and I refuse to watch you in such agony."

He looked at me incredulously, his eyebrows raised. "You – you want us to stop?"

I smiled at the panic and disappointment that flashed in his eyes. "No, silly," I admonished lightly and kissed his forehead. "I just don't want you to put yourself into this position again. I've only ever seen you struggle this much once, Edward, and that is a memory I would rather forget." Biology class flickered in my head and I inwardly cringed. I sighed. "I know I push you, and I know you push yourself because of me. I'm the one who should be sorry, Edward; you have nothing to apologize for. I admit I have trouble controlling myself with you," I shrugged my shoulders. "I want you. But I'm not willing to see you like this to get it."

Lust fired in his eyes again as he surveyed me. "But I want you too." A snarl caught in his throat. "Now," he croaked as he started pulling my body to his. He bent his head to kiss me but I placed a small hand over his mouth in protest.

He blinked in surprise and hesitated. "We need some ground rules first," I smiled in sympathy as frustration creased his forehead. It wasn't often that I was parrying his advances, usually it was the other way around. "You need to promise me that you will stop before the bloodlust gets bad or I will stop you myself."

He looked at me with amusement knowing I could never physically restrain him. "What are you going to do?" he laughed.

"Go too far and you will find out," I smiled coyly at him. "Now where were we?"

My mouth found his and our tongues played with hysteric rhythm. I could never get enough of him. My body was on fire under his touch as he placed a hand behind my head and an arm around my waist. Never breaking our kiss, he eased me down onto my back and hovered on top of me, supporting every ounce of his weight.

I hooked my fingers into the belt loops of his jeans and pulled, but he wouldn't budge. I wrapped my arms around his waist and yanked on him with all of my might but he refused to give an inch. He broke the kiss and almost laughed at my last attempt.

"What are you doing?" he asked smiling down at me.

"I want to feel you on top of me," I said shyly, the blood predictably rushing to my face.

He chuckled and shook his head lightly. "I'll crush you, Bella."

"Okay, so, maybe not all of your weight," I compromised.

He shook his head lightly and smiled. "Always so eager to tempt fate," he whispered. The lust was like black fury in his onyx eyes as he hungrily kissed me again.

Before I could stop myself, my hands were fumbling, unbuttoning Edward's shirt as my tongue probed his mouth eagerly. His hand under my waist grip my shirt in a fist as a growl rumbled in his chest.

The last button undone, I placed my palms tentatively on his muscular chest and gasped at the electricity that passed thought my fingertips. He moaned against my mouth and crushed his lips harder against mine. My fingers danced against his taut skin as I traced the contours of his powerful torso. I let my hands linger over his stomach, marveling at the definition of his abs.

As my fingers accidentally tripped over the edge of the waistband of his jeans, he dropped his head onto my shoulder and gritted his teeth. I quickly ran my hands up his chest and over his shoulders. He raised his head to look at me and I smiled weakly. He chuckled and fell onto his side, pulling me close, tucking me gently against him.

I rested my head on his arm, one hand cupping his cheek and stared into his liquid black eyes. They reflected the want I had for him, the yearning for more. He was so beautiful and though he could have anyone, my breath caught with the knowledge that wanted _me_.

"I love you," I croaked in a whisper, a small sob caught in my throat.

He brought his lips to mine and kissed me tenderly. The delicate touch as his fingers brushing my jaw made me shiver with desire. His kiss deepened and I slid my hand under his arm and pulled gently on his shoulder. He leaned closer and I gasped as he tilted my head back and started kissing his way down my throat.

I felt his hand drift from my face and trace a light path between my breasts, coming to rest on my stomach. My back arched involuntarily as he trailed kissed across my chest just above the low neckline of my shirt. His fingers gathered up the bottom hem and I felt his feathery touch on my bare skin.

His hands caressed their way to my breasts and I moaned when his thumb found one of my nipples again. My body convulsed, eager to meet his touch, begging for more. My hand gripped the comforter on the bed in a tiny fist as I struggled to keep from asking Edward to make love to me again.

He continued to spatter kisses across my cheek and up my neck as he gently fondled my breasts, smiling each time my body reacted to his touch. My moans were loud and pleading, my breathing uneven as his name echoed off the walls of my room.

He caught my mouth in his as his hand slid back to my stomach. I kissed him hard and rough not able to hold back my desire. My body vibrated under his hand on my stomach and as he started pushing up the shirt revealing my bare body, I whimpered.

Suddenly, he was shaking again, his body stiffening, his jaw clenching. He pulled away and pressed his head against my shoulder wrestling the monster within. I wrapped a tentative arm around his shoulders and felt him shudder signaling another exceptionally bad fight. He moved his hand from my stomach to the pillow beside me and it ripped and crumpled in his strong grasp, stuffing spilling out onto the bed.

"You promised, Edward," I whispered soothingly. "Stop."

He shook his head violently, gutting the pillow as he twisted it beside me.

"You leave me no choice then," I muttered. Reaching down, I closed my eyes and opened my hand, palm facing Edward, my fingers pointed to the foot of the bed. Summoning my courage, I sucked in a quick breath and gently placed my hand over the fly of his jeans.

I blinked hearing something clatter to the floor and looked over at my desk. My hand still hovering in midair, the echo of his manhood on my palm, I watched as he stood in the corner of my room. A quick glance at the pen-strewn floor confirmed the noise and I looked back to Edward.

Dropping my hand to the bed, I stared as Edward continued to lean awkwardly, statue-like against the wall. He didn't look at me, but the deep blackness of his eyes telling of the powerful conflict within. I laid on the bad, barely breathing, waiting for the war in his soul to end.

Even when facing his demon, he took my breath away; he was glorious. His shirt, still unbuttoned, fell slightly to one side, revealing a glimpse of his chiseled physique. His bronze hair was messy, hinting at the passion-play of my fingers just moments ago. His features, though strained, were exquisitely shaped and beautifully proportioned. The set of his jaw, the paleness of skin contrasting sharply with the redness of his full lips, his muscular frame, all spoke of his ability to dazzle me.

Blinking myself out of my reverie, I realized that Edward still had not moved. I tilted my head to get a better look at his face and tentatively asked, "Edward? Are you okay?"

He didn't answer.

Concerned, I sat up on the bed and wondered if I had crossed a line. Maybe my plan wasn't so brilliant after all. Maybe he was furious with me. I stared down at my hands in my lap and fought back the panic. Stifling a frightened sob, with a strangled voice I whispered, "Are you mad at me? Please say something."

I looked up and cringed, waiting for his reply. He blinked once and shook his head lightly. In a contemplative tone, he turned to me and sighed, "I love you."

I stared at him blankly, unsure of what to say. Confusion enveloped me and I raised my eyebrows. "I love you too," it sounded like a question. "What's going on, Edward?"

He smiled at me wistfully. "I didn't know you could play so dirty," his voice teasing.

I scrambled off the bed in relief and threw myself against him, wrapping my arms around his neck. "So, you're not mad?"

He put his hands on my hips in gingerly pushed my pelvis away from his and chuckled. "No, I'm not mad. Surprised, maybe. Impressed, definitely. I should know better then to underestimate you."

I pulled back to look at him. The passion still simmered in his coal black eyes, desire etched his face igniting my own fire again. My fingers started to play with his hair as I instinctively tried to press my body against his. When I met the resistance at my hips, I blinked, realizing that I was pushing him again.

I let my hands drop from his neck and looked down at the floor. "Sorry," I mumbled. "I can't help it."

He cupped and lifted my face in his hands so I was looking at him. "I wouldn't have it any other way, Bella." He bent and kissed me gently. "But I think we both need a distraction right now. It's almost time to meet Seth and Colin anyway."

He step around me and started buttoning up his shirt. He smoothed out my comforter, lifting it over the torn pillow and pile of stuffing. "I'll clean that up later," he laughed. He picked up the book he had dropped on the floor and hesitated before he reached down to scoop up the bra that lay in a heap beside the bed.

Turning to me, he held out his hand and I accepted my bra with an embarrassed smile. With the blush on my cheeks intensifying, I dashed into the bathroom to put it back on, emerging in a few seconds.

He handed me a light jacket saying, "The rain stopped but you'll still need this."

I shrugged into the jacket and took the hand Edward held out to me. "Ready?" he asked brightly?

"I am," I smiled and let him pull me down the stairs and out the door to his car.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8 – Unwelcome Visitors

The dirt road to the baseball clearing was much bumpier than I remembered. It must have eroded away with the recent heavy rains and I almost wished Edward had decided to take Emmett's huge Jeep. I would have been grateful to have had the off-roading harness to stop me from being tossed around the cab and bashed against the hard, unforgiving door. On one particularly bad pothole, I almost smashed my head into the passenger window and I vaguely wondered if the Volvo's suspension would survive.

From the back seat, Jasper used his gift to keep my panic in check. It was nice to have Jasper along for a change. I didn't really get the chance to spend much time with him and as he and Edward talked about their strategies and what to teach the young wolves, I was gaining more insight into what made him tick.

I had always known his life revolved around Alice; that was no secret. But learning his story and watching him lead the training for the fight against the newborns, I could see how much of an integral part of the Cullen family he was. I thought back to my first impressions of him and remembered wondering if the only thing keeping him with the Cullens was Alice. With shame, I realized just how wrong I had been about him.

"I think we should also show them how to counter an aerial attack," Jasper was saying. "It's important for them to know what to do if they lose the high ground." Always the tactician, he leaned between the front seats and pointed through the front windshield to a small mountain visible above the trees. "There's wide ledges with lots of uneven ground on the East side of that mountain. That should be a good spot."

"That's a great idea, Jasper," Edward nodded. He held his arm tightly against my chest like a seatbelt as the car bucked over a series of deep ruts. "Seth had some good moves when we fought Victoria and Riley, but he still has a lot to learn."

Finally, we arrived at the dead end where we would park and go the rest of the way on foot.

"They all do," Jasper sighed. "But if Sam refuses to associate with us, I'm not sure what we can do. It's nice that he's letting Seth and Colin come today though. Maybe there's hope yet if he's willing to let them be friends with us. I think Carlisle is planning on asking for a meeting with the pack before the wedding so they can work something out with the treaty."

As Jasper exited the back seat, Edward parked the car and came around to help me out. I glanced over at Jasper as Edward lifted me onto his back and smiled. "I hope Carlisle has more luck than I did. Sam wouldn't give an inch when I talked to him yesterday," I sighed.

"You talked to Sam? For us?" Jasper asked, his eyes wide as they started out at a slow run. "Wow, Bella. I don't know what to say. Thank you!" He smiled at me and the blood rushed up my throat.

Suddenly Edward chuckled and Jasper looked at him quizzically. "Seth must have smelled us," he explained, grinning. "He's coming, and he's really excited." I groaned. Only males would get excited about beating up each other.

"I don't know," Edward glanced at Jasper in answer to his unspoken question. I was still trying to get used to the one-sided conversations Edward had with his family.

Before I could ask what Edward didn't know, he stopped, almost tripping over the uneven ground. He doubled over clutching his ears as if someone was screaming loudly. I slipped off his back and watched in horror as he slid down to his knees, violently shaking his head. Panicked, I looked over at Jasper and read the alarm he couldn't hide, plainly on his face.

Somewhere in the distance, I heard a howl and Jasper leaned over to steady Edward, helping him to his feet. In words too fast for me to understand, Edward relayed what he had heard to Jasper and lifted me onto his back again. Before I could even take a breath we were running at top speed, Edward filling me in on the way.

"Colin is hurt. I don't know how badly but Seth ran back to help him. He's fighting something but his thoughts are too jumbled for me to know for sure what it –."

I slammed against his back as he came to a dead stop again. Jasper ran by us in a blur before he realized, and looped back to our position. His eyes full of concern, I could tell he was asking Edward something in his head.

"There are two of them," Edward said, running a hand roughly through his hair. "I don't know who they are but Seth can't hold them off for long. Jasper, take Bella back to the car and get her the hell out of here." He pulled me off his back and set me down gently, pushing me toward Jasper.

"Why?" I asked. "What happened?"

He looked at Jasper imploringly, "Go!"

"Wait!" I yelped as Jasper started to lift me off the ground. "Two of what? And what about Colin?"

Edward nervously shifted his weight. "They're vampires. And Colin seems to be going in and out of consciousness. Now let Jasper get you to safety," he pleaded, "I've got to go help Seth." He turned to go as Jasper held his hands out to me.

"No!" I shouted stubbornly. "I'm not letting you to take on two unknown vampires by yourself! What if Colin needs medical help and you're too busy fighting to help him? Or what if Seth gets hurt, or worse," my voice broke at the thought, "you get hurt? Take Jasper with you, I'll find my way back to the car and wait for you, we haven't gone far."

Edward growled his frustration as he glared at me. "You won't be safe there if one of them gets by us, Bella. Besides, the pack is already on their way, Seth and I can hold them off until then. Let Jasper take you back to the house. He can bring the others back with him."

I stared at him with steely resolve and firmly planted my feet. "The pack may not get here in time. Besides, the longer you stand here arguing with me the less chance Seth has alone. Both of you go – I'll be fine."

I heard another loud growl rip from his lips as he grabbed me roughly and pulled me onto his back again and started running. I heard him muttering something incomprehensible under his breath and smiled secretly at my victory.

I glanced at Jasper and saw him murmuring into his phone as he ran. He must have been alerting Alice, Esme and Carlisle. I silently hoped they would arrive soon and pressed my face against Edward's cool shoulder.

I heard the snarls and roars of fighting before we were even in the clearing. At the edge of the forest but still hidden, Edward quickly set me down and barked at me to stay put. I watched as he and Jasper ran at vampire speed toward the melee.

Squinting, I made out a man and a woman circling Seth. From their gracefulness and predatory skills they were unmistakably vampires. My breath caught as the female launched herself at Seth, arms flailing, teeth flashing. Edward and Jasper were going in fast, poised to take on the male and I heard Edward shout, "You got her, Seth?" Seth barked sharply in response, snapping his powerful jaws at his target.

As I watched the blurs of color and listened to the distinctive sounds of battle, my eyes settled on a lump of pale rock only a few yards from the fight. Thinking it seemed out of place, I tried to bring it into sharper focus and with a fearful start, realized it wasn't a rock – it was Colin. He was in human form and he wasn't moving. Without hesitation, I broke into a dead run.

It seemed to take an eternity to close the distance between us, but as I came up on him, I saw he was bleeding from numerous cuts and his lower right leg was sticking out at a painfully unnatural angle. I caught a glimpse of bone sticking out from the wound below his knee and took a breath willing myself not to throw up.

Faintly, I heard Edward snarl and glanced up to see him and Jasper ripping an arm off the unknown vampire. His shirt was torn; his face was wet and streaked with mud. Shuddering, I focused on Colin and hastily tore off a wide section from the bottom of my shirt. I used it to dab at the cuts but had to turn my head away, the smell of his blood filling my nostrils. My stomach lurched and I dropped both hands to the ground to steady myself in case I had to vomit. My left hand slipped on something warm and wet and I lifted my arm to examine it. Deep crimson colored my palm and a new wave of nausea overtook me. I realized my hand was covered in blood and I leaned away from Colin, violently throwing up in the grass.

Panic washed over me and I fought against my body's natural response to faint. Colin was bleeding badly and, at that moment, I was the only one who could help. Frantically, I wiped my hand in the still-wet grass and struggled out of my thin jacket. Holding a deep breath, I quickly searched for the source of blood and realized it was oozing slowly from the back of his leg, just below his knee.

Light headed again, I put my forehead on Colin's chest and I gently shoved one arm of my jacket under his right thigh. Resting only long enough to clear the black dots in front of my eyes, I grabbed the two arms of the jacket and tied them together. Colin moaned weakly as I pulled the knot as tightly as I could, securing the make-shift tourniquet. My energy spent, I rolled onto my back and rested my head against Colin's hot shoulder, fighting another wave of nausea.

I heard shouts and a low taunting voice and forced my eyes open. Closest to me, I saw Seth stalking the female, pacing back and forth in front of her, crouched in attack position. Past them, I could see Edward holding the vampire's remaining arm out to the side while it snapped its teeth and stumbled around. Jasper stood behind them. He placed one hand under the man's chin and pushing his shoulder into the vampire's back, he yanked up, violently ripping the head from the body and let it fall to the ground behind him.

Shouting directions at each other in vampire speak, Edward and Jasper quickly tore the limbs from the male's body and threw them around the clearing as far apart as they could. Edward was just about to throw a severed hand when a loud roar of pain echoed off the trees.

He spun around quickly and growled at what he saw. I followed his glare and saw the female vampire holding Seth by the throat, one arm was hanging limply at his side. With horror, I watched as she raised her leg and slammed her foot into his chest sending him flying toward the edge of the clearing. I could hear him whimpering as he sailed over my head.

"Seth!" I cried and I got to my knees.

I turned back to the female and instinctively covered Colin with my body as she cocked her head to one side and surveyed us, helpless in the grass. She had long, flowing black hair, her face was a perfect oval. The paleness of her skin highlighted her dark locks and pink lips. She was beautiful to behold in spite of her blood red eyes. A low snarl ripped from her lips.

"Don't even think about it, Maria." To my right, Jasper's voice resonated with obvious warning.

Before I could blink, Edward was crouched in front of me, a furious growl rumbling in his chest. I peered around him to see Jasper cautiously walk over to stand beside us, his eyes never leaving the vampire he called Maria. Her name sounded familiar and as the memory of Jasper's story washed over me, I suddenly realized who this stranger was.

I struggled to my feet and gripped the back of Edward's torn shirt in my fist, steadying myself. Looking frantically over at Seth's limp frame, I automatically took a step toward him. Edward thrust his arm back, blocking my path. "I have to help him," I whispered, pleading. He slowly shook his head and gently pushed me back behind him.

Maria had taken a casual, unguarded stance that failed to hide the potential violence coiled and ready within. When she spoke, her voice was warm and inviting, like melted chocolate.

"Why, Jasper Whitlock – or it's Hale now from what I've heard!" she purred. "It's been a long time, my old friend. A very long time indeed." Her smile was sweet, her countenance innocent.

"Indeed," Jasper replied stiffly. "Why are you here, Maria?"

"I haven't seen you in……well, no matter! Here we are and we must catch up!" She glanced at Edward taking in his hostile demeanor. "Who's your friend, Jasper?" she asked, lifting her chin to Edward. "He looks a little angry."

Edward hissed and she smiled again.

"Feisty, this one," she chimed. "Much like you were, Jasper. Do you remember?"

"What do you want, Maria? This is awfully far for you to travel for a chat," Jasper's voice was edgy.

She twirled around on the ball of her foot and started to slowly walk in a wide circle, gesturing with her hands while she spoke. "I heard a disconcerting rumor that you were involved in a war with an army of newborns not too long ago and I thought it was impossible. _My_ Jasper had left the fight long ago and certainly wouldn't entertain the idea again."

Edward moved in synch with her, maintaining his defensive posture in front of me and Colin. Jasper had stealthily positioned himself between Maria and Seth, who was now struggling unsuccessfully to get to his feet several yards away. Suddenly she pivoted and started circling back the other way. "The more I thought about it, the more I didn't believe it but, just in case, I had to come and see for myself." She turned to face us; the smile on her face was radiant. "So, was the rumor true?"

Jasper shifted uncomfortably and he looked at Edward who nodded imperceptibly. Taking a quick breath, Jasper's face smoothed to a blank expression and he glanced over at Maria. "Yes," he said simply.

Her hands flew to her cheeks in mock alarm and she took a couple of steps forward. Edward and Jasper both stiffened and readied themselves for an attack.

"Oh my!" Her voice was shrill, full of fake concern. "My poor Jasper! How difficult that must have been for you!" She smiled again. "But I see you are unscathed."

She paused. "Why didn't you ask for my help? You know we make a formidable team. Those times in Monterey are some of my best years!" She clapped her hands in delight and pressed them against her heart. As she gently rocked back and forth, her eyes looked up to the sky lost in some reverent memory. When she realized Jasper had not replied, she dropped her head to level a playful look at him. "It must have been great fun!"

He scoffed at her and narrowed his eyes. "I didn't ask because I didn't know if I could trust you," he said darkly. He quickly glanced to me and Colin and over to where Seth was still struggling, injured. "It's clear I made the right choice."

She smiled innocently and lifted her hands, palms up. "These werewolves are your friends?" she asked, here tone was false and high-pitched. "How was I to know that when they attacked us?"

I heard Seth grunt weakly and looked up at Edward. "That's a lie!" he growled and clenched his hands into tight fists.

Maria threw him a surprised look and said, "He speaks!" Suddenly, she seemed to remember I was there and shifted her body to get a better look at me and smiled. "Protecting a human girl…..interesting." The snarl building in Edward's chest made my hand on his back vibrate. I glared at her and she turned back to Jasper.

"You and your friend have done enough damage, Maria," Jasper said in a low tone. "I think it would be wise for you to go. Now." Somewhere in the distance, howls and yelps permeated the calm, afternoon air. The pack was close.

She cocked her head and surveyed him from under her long lashes, her voice suddenly edgy. "I don't think so, Jasper. You killed my friend, my right-hand man. You owe me a new general for my foot soldiers." She lifted her chin in defiance and added, "Either of you will do."

He quickly hid his haunted expression and coldly said, "It was you who attacked our friends. Remember that."

She took a cautious step toward him, slightly crouching in an offensive posture. "You've gone soft, Jasper," she taunted. "Why do you try so hard to deny your true nature? They should be your _victims_ not your friends!" Edward flinched as if to attack but held back, glancing quickly to Jasper, a strangled growl in his throat.

"That is not the life I choose to live anymore," Jasper quietly replied.

"Pity," she chimed, smiling, "you were so good at it." She paused and surveyed Edward again. "What about you? You're young but I can tell you've got great potential. You can bring your toy too if you're willing to share," she added, the sweet politeness dripping like acid.

Suddenly I couldn't feel Edward's coolness under my palm. I heard hissing and growling as I focused on the twisting, rolling mass of color in front of me. Edward and Maria were engaged in a vicious fight and Jasper launched himself into the foray. In the time it took for me to gasp, it was all over.

Maria's head was in Edward's hands and he stood, shaking with rage, trying to regain his control. His eyes were shut tightly, his body rigid. Jasper was busily removing her limbs from her body as I tentatively stepped toward Edward. "I need a second, Bella…please. The pack is here, stay with Colin. I'll get Seth." He took a couple of deep breaths and, dropping Maria's head to the ground, he turned and ran toward Seth.

The howling and yelping was really loud now and I glanced up to see seven werewolves break through the fringe at the forest's edge. I scanned for Jacob and my heart sank a little realizing he was not there. Leading the pack, Sam quickly surveyed the scene and the pack broke into two groups, one heading for Seth, the other for Colin.

I turned to look at Seth and watched his attempt to stand. One of his front legs was completely useless and hung too low and awkwardly under his chest. He whined again and fell back to the ground.

I recognized Leah, Jared and Quil as they ran over to him. The rest of the wolves headed for Colin and me, Sam phasing mid-run so he could speak with me.

"What the hell happened?" he asked furiously. "Is he alright?"

The smell of blood over-powering me again, I crawled a few feet away and collapsed to the grass. "I don't know," I gasped. "There were two vampires and they were attacking Seth……Colin was hurt badly." My voice broke. "I'm sorry, Sam. We were too late to help him…."

Suddenly, I heard Edward calling out and looked up to see Alice and Carlisle emerge from the woods. Following Edward's urging, Carlisle came directly to Colin and seeing the pool of blood, immediately took charge.

"Alice, Jasper, start a fire and burn every piece. Edward," he called over his shoulder as he knelt down beside Colin. "How bad is it?"

Carlisle was pulling instruments out of the doctor's bag he had been carrying when Edward replied, "I think his shoulder is dislocated, maybe broken. He wants to phase…"

"NO!" Carlisle's commanding voice filled the clearing. "Seth, you can't phase until we know for sure. You might do permanent damage." I heard Leah's distinct whine as she paced worriedly in front of her brother.

Carlisle glanced quickly at Sam and smiled, "Nice to see you and the pack again, Sam. I only wish it were under better circumstances."

Sam looked worriedly down to Colin and asked, "Will he be okay?"

"I hope so," gloom filling Carlisle's voice. "It's a very bad break."

Lifting Colin's wrist, Carlisle measured the pulse and quietly listened to his labored breathing. Fingering my jacket-tourniquet, he eyed me with an approving glance and began to examine the wound. I had to look away as he probed with his fingers and watched as Alice and Jasper flitted around the clearing picking up the pieces he and Edward had scattered. Purpley smoke curled high into the sky, the bright flames of the bonfire licked at the body parts being thrown in.

The scene was unnervingly macabre and I flinched at the eerie parallels this day was having to one, not so long ago, in this same spot. I looked back when I heard Carlisle's voice again.

"We will need to get Colin to the hospital as soon as possible," he explained, looking at Sam. "You'll have to carry him out but you must not jostle him too much on the way. His bone is badly shattered and he will need x-rays and possibly surgery. He is healing quickly, but not properly so we don't have much time to waste."

Sam was about to protest but Carlisle dug into his pocket and pulled out a silver key. He tossed it to Sam and said, "The Jeep is parked about 6 miles straight east. It will get you out the fastest. I will tend to Seth and meet you at the hospital." He suddenly smiled, looking at each wolf in turn. "He will be alright, I assure you."

Carlisle and I turned our heads away as Embry, Paul and Brady each phased and dressed quickly. As gently as he could, Sam lifted Colin and cradled him against his chest. He shot Carlisle a grateful look and mumbled his thanks and the four of them started off in the direction of the Jeep at the slow jog.

Carlisle helped me to my feet and ran to Seth. I followed slowly, trying to process how this could have happened. Did Seth and Colin not smell the vampires coming? Why would Seth leave Colin alone with them? And why would Maria and her friend attack if they knew Jasper? Nothing made sense.

I reached Seth just as Carlisle was kneeling, trying to assess the damage. He sat back on his heels and sheepishly smiled at Seth and the others saying, "Unfortunately, I'm not a veterinarian so I'm at a bit of a loss here." He sighed and looked down. "I need something to compare his injury to……." He brought his gaze to rest on Quil. "Quil, right?" The giant wolf nodded his head slowly. "I need to examine a healthy shoulder so I can perform a proper assessment. Would you be willing for me to do that on you?"

Quil glanced at Jared and Leah and whined. Edward huffed and rolled his eyes, not liking something he heard in their heads. Finally, Quil looked at me and I gestured impatiently. "Come on, Quil," I said exasperatedly. "It's _Seth_."

He nodded again and looked at Carlisle who said, "I'll need you to lie down in the same position as Seth."

Quil looked intently at Seth then, like a family pet, he turned in a circle three times. I had to muffle a giggle. He finally plopped down on his side and lifted his head to look at Carlisle.

"Now, I'm going to feel around your shoulder to find out where the muscles, tendons and bones are supposed to be." As Carlisle placed his hands gently on his fur, Quil stiffened slightly. "I won't hurt you," Carlisle mumbled as he closed his eyes and pressed his fingers into Quil's flesh trying to map out the correct anatomy in his mind.

I glanced at Edward who was staring at Carlisle's face, watching every nuance, every twitch. Absentmindedly, he ran his hand down Seth's flank and murmured, "It's okay, Seth. Everything will be fine."

I heard a low growl and looked back to see Carlisle lifting Quil's paw, feeling the underside of the joint. Quil's eyes were uncertain as he gazed at the doctor's face. "I just need to get the full picture, Quil. I'm almost done." Pulling his hands away slowly, Carlisle opened his eyes and turned to Seth.

"Well now, let's see what you've done to yourself," he said casually, reaching for Seth's damaged shoulder. He turned his chin slightly and called out to Jasper and Alice. I hadn't realized they were done at the fire and were standing, watching, only a few feet away.

"See if you can make some sort of stretcher….some way to get Seth back to the house," he instructed. "We can't carry him like this," Carlisle's voice was distant as he concentrated on Seth's injury.

In a flash, Alice and Jasper were gone. After a few more tense minutes, Carlisle sighed and smiled down at Seth. "Good news….it's just dislocated." He took a breath and his eyes clouded with concern. "Bad news though……you won't be able to phase. I can pop it back in, but the anatomy between the wolf and the human is so vastly different, you may cause it to dislocate again if you phase too soon." Seth whined and the rest looked at Edward.

"They want to know how long?" he said. "They can't take him home to La Push like this."

"He will stay with us until he can phase," Carlisle looked at each wolf in turn. "That way I can monitor him closely and ensure he is healing properly." He clapped his hands once and spoke fast, "Okay, I'll need all of you to help brace him when I pop the shoulder back in. We need to do this quickly, I must get to the hospital and help Colin…… Edward, I'll need your shirt, please."

Edward quickly shrugged out of the torn and muddied garment and gave it to Carlisle. I caught a glimpse of his perfect form and my breath hitched. I chastised myself for the desire that was welling inside me; my body didn't seem to grasp the concept of proper time and place. Hearing the change in my breathing and the increase in my pulse rate, Edward's lips broke into a small self-satisfied, smug smile and I resisted the urge to childishly stick my tongue out at him.

Carlisle instructed Jared to lie across Seth's flanks while Edward was positioned across his neck, effectively pinning his upper body in place. Leah was lying on all fours, her face inches from Seth's, looking at him imploringly.

Carlisle looped the body of Edward's shirt under Seth's arm and pulled it snuggly against the armpit. Grabbing the two sleeves, he stood and stepped over Seth instructing Quil. "I need you to pull on the shirt. Hold it in place as tightly as you can and do not let go. Do you understand?" Quil nodded and took the sleeves into his jaws carefully. He sniffed once and curled his lip slightly in distaste. Stepping back, Quil pulled the shirt taut, dug his paws into the soft ground and braced himself.

Preparing another syringe of morphine, Carlisle spoke to Leah. "Leah, keep him as focused and relaxed as you can." He injected the drug then suddenly looked to me. "Bella," he said. "I need you to put your hands here to stabilize the joint," he indicated Seth's chest. Trembling, I walked over and let him guide me into position. He sat me on my knees in front of Seth and placed my hands into Seth's armpit. He cupped my hands unto a 'U' shape and pushed them firmly into the fur.

"Now press hard Bella," he whispered. "And don't stop until I tell you, okay?" I nodded numbly and put all my weight against my hands. I caught Edward's intent gaze on me before I tightly closed my eyes – I didn't want to see what Carlisle was about to do.

"Ready, Seth? I'm not going to lie, this is going to hurt," he warned. Seth whimpered and nodded his head lightly. "Talk to him, Leah. On three everyone – Seth, try not to move. One….two…..three!"


End file.
